


Every Time Dilemma

by magicalIdiot



Series: If Aoi was left behind [3]
Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: Akane and Junpei have romantic tension, And Carlos is stuck as their couples counselor, Blood and Injury, Canonical Character Death, Disordered Eating, F/M, Gen, Hallucinations, Junpei makes a lot of bad decisions, MAJOR ztd spoilers, Mentions of alcoholism, Suicidal Thoughts, minor VLR spoilers, rated M for canon-typical gore and death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:14:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28861623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicalIdiot/pseuds/magicalIdiot
Summary: Junpei has Reverie Syndrome, so when he is forced into the Decision Game, things are more familiar than they should be.
Relationships: Akane and Junpei are in love but they're not A Thing, Carlos & Kurashiki Akane & Tenmyouji Junpei
Series: If Aoi was left behind [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110935
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Coincide

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those "what if ZTD happened except..." fics, so if you haven't played ZTD, prepare to be spoiled.
> 
> This is part of a series, but you don't need to read the earlier fics to understand this one. The main things you need to know are:
> 
> \- after 999, Akane and Aoi had a disagreement and Akane disappeared, leaving Aoi behind  
> \- Aoi, Light, Clover, and Junpei ended up living together  
> \- Aoi catches Junpei trying to take an engagement ring to Dcom and very firmly tells him that he's not allowed to marry Akane until she proves that she won't disappear again  
> \- Junpei has Reverie Syndrome (although he doesn't really know it or understand it)

Junpei wakes up in a prison cell with a bracelet around his wrist.

No. No, no, no, no,  _ no _ . He squeezes his eyes shut as if that’s going to make a difference. Why is this happening again?  _ How _ is this happening again? Does Akane know what’s going on? ...No, she sounds just as confused as everyone else. She’s definitely a good actor, but not  _ this _ good. And Sigma and Phi don’t seem to know anything, either. Junpei doesn’t know what’s up with them, but they’d been talking to Akane all week.

Meanwhile, all week, Junpei has been having hallucinations, and somehow, nobody has noticed.

He doesn’t recognize this prison. But he  _ does _ know that he’s seen Akane kill Carlos at least three different ways, and he’s seen himself die over, and over, and over again. It’s becoming more and more likely that those events happen here. He’s seen other things, too, with Clover and Alice, and apparently, Sigma and Phi. Except he and Sigma are both old in those dreams, and Clover, Alice, and Phi haven’t aged at all. He doesn’t know how those visions tie in to these ones. Does it matter? He’s not sure.

He can’t think. He hasn’t slept more than an hour or two each night thanks to the nightmares. He’s exhausted, but adrenaline and anxiety are competing for dominance in his head. He’s so close to having a panic attack right here in this prison cell with nobody to help him— not Aoi, not Light, not Clover. He starts to reach out towards the morphogenetic field, then pulls back. Aoi and Light are busy searching for Clover. He can’t distract them now.

There’s a conversation going on between everyone, but Junpei is having trouble making sense of the words. Okay, deep breaths. He has to focus. He can panic after this is all over.

Someone wearing a plague doctor mask and black robes walks into the room, and Junpei’s blood runs cold. He knows before the person even speaks that this is Zero II, although he doesn’t have any idea how he knows it. Morphogenetic field? Or maybe it’s the fact that he distinctly remembers Zero (Akane) and he’s seen Zero III (the weird bunny thing).

Zero II flips a coin and forces Carlos to make a choice. Mira insists that the coin is red. Junpei feels his mouth opening against his will, and a voice that is undeniably his says, “Choose blue.”

How… did that happen? He’d said the words, but he hadn’t intended to. Was someone… controlling him somehow?

A needle inserts itself into Junpei’s skin near his wrist, and he can’t hold back his panic anymore. He hates anesthetics, hates them, hates them, hates them—


	2. Execution: C

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junpei knows a lot more than he should. The last year has changed him a lot, but not in the ways that you would expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for mentions of disordered eating, sleep deprivation, hallucinations, blood, and death.
> 
> In case you aren't familiar with the ZTD timeline(s), this segment takes place from 12:00 to 13:30.

As they search Ward C for an exit, Junpei can’t shake the feeling that he’s seen every one of these rooms before in his dreams. His memory is foggy, partly due to the anesthetic, partly due to his mounting panic, partly because he can never remember his dreams fully. It doesn’t help that he sees things that aren’t real everywhere he looks.

He’s so tired.

He doesn’t  _ want _ to be mean to Akane, but every time she says something, his bitterness comes out before he can stop himself.  _ She’s _ the reason that he’s panicking because of the bracelet around his wrist.  _ She’s _ the reason he can’t sleep at night.  _ She’s _ the reason—

When they get back to the lounge, Akane and Carlos start looking at the X door. Junpei sits down on the table, draws his knees up towards his chest, and rests his head on his knees. His thoughts are whirling through his head too fast for him to keep track of them. He resents Akane, he hates anesthetics, he can’t breathe every time he looks at his bracelet, he— He starts taking deep breaths. He needs to calm down. He needs to focus.

“Junpei, are you all right?” Akane asks worriedly, sitting down across from him on the couch.

“I’m fine,” he bites back, voice shaking more than he’d like. He’s not fine. He doesn’t want  _ her _ to know that.

Carlos asks about Zero, and Akane doesn’t say anything. Yeah, figures. She probably doesn’t want to talk about the shit she did to assure her own existence.

Junpei takes another deep breath and raises his head. “To be accurate, you should probably ask who the second Zero is, instead.”

“Then that means there has to be a first one, right?” Carlos asks.

“Yeah, there is.” Junpei pauses. “Was, I guess.” Behind Carlos, Light appears, wearing black and red robes. He’s bleeding profusely, and Junpei watches as four more bullets pass through his body. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Junpei forces himself to look away.

“You know him?” Carlos asks eagerly.

Junpei glances over at Akane, then shakes his head. “Sorta. It’s… more complicated than that.” He hesitates, then decides that saying more will just incriminate Akane. And yeah, he’s bitter, but he’s not going to throw her under the bus. 

“A bracelet a lot like this one has been strapped to my wrist before…”  _ And maybe will be strapped to my wrist again _ , Junpei thinks uneasily. “It happened last year. Akane and I were trapped somewhere.” A white lie, but it gets the point across. “The person responsible back then was named ‘Zero.’”

“But I don’t think that one has anything to do with this one,” Akane says. There’s guilt written all over her face. Jeez, what’s the point of defending her if she’s just going to make it obvious with her body language?

“It’s gotta be connected,” Carlos insists.

“JUST— Please. Believe me,” Akane says desperately. She says it to Carlos, but it sounds more like a plea meant for Junpei.  _ I know I did the last one, but this one isn’t my fault _ , she’s saying.

Does Junpei believe her?

Light is still behind the couch, slowly burning to death.

Junpei scrubs his face with his hand. Akane wouldn’t do something that was guaranteed to kill six people. Junpei… has to believe that. He’s seen a lot of shit over the last year that’s made him lose faith, but he still can’t crush the hope inside him, the hope that people are  _ good _ .

“She’s right,” he says, turning back to Carlos. “They’re not connected. That game was… not a fun experience, but it was for a good reason.” God damn it, his voice is shaking again.

Carlos gives Junpei a skeptical look.

“Please. Let’s just drop it. I don’t… like talking about it, okay?” Junpei says, averting his gaze. His hands are shaking. When he closes his eyes, he can see the Ninth Man’s remains splattered all over the wall and floor.  _ Fuck _ .

Carlos’ skepticism transforms into concern. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean— I just want to figure out what’s going on.”

“I know.” Junpei rests his forehead on his knees again. Deep breaths. He isn’t drowning. He isn’t going to explode. He isn’t frantically trying to stop himself and four others from burning alive. He’s fine. He’s fine. He’s  _ fine _ .

“Junpei, are you sure you’re okay?” Akane asks quietly. “You look really pale.”

“Haven’t eaten in a couple days. If I knew we were going to be stuck in some hellhole like  _ this _ , I would’ve at least had a snack,” Junpei says, if only to get Akane off his back. It’s been… more than a couple days. But this isn’t really unusual for Junpei. When he’s anxious like this, it’s hard for him to eat, and it’s impossible for him to sleep.

“Junpei! Why haven’t you been eating?” Akane asks, and oh my god, she sounds like Aoi.

“It’s a waste to eat food when I know I can’t keep it down,” he says dully. “Look, we have more important things to discuss than my health, okay? What else did you want to know, Carlos?”

Carlos sighs. “Fine. Do you guys know why Zero might be doing this?”

“To make us play a game, right? This ‘Decision Game’ or whatever,” Junpei says. The real question is what this Decision Game is supposed to  _ do _ . The Nonary Game was supposed to close a time loop and confirm Akane’s existence. What is this game for?

He tunes back in just in time to hear Akane say, “If we lose this game, we’re all going to die. Six billion people will…”

Junpei blinks, and suddenly he’s standing in a nurse’s room of some kind listening to a recording. A voice, saying, “Six of us are dead. Counting myself, there are only three left. I… I guess you could say I killed them… No, No...no, that's not quite right. Not just them. Not just these six… All of them… All six billion… Soon I will have killed six billion people.”

Junpei blinks again, and he’s back in the lounge, gasping for breath. What the hell  _ was _ that? A hallucination, triggered by what Akane had said, maybe? It was a lot more real than anything else he’s seen today. And that voice… it was definitely Diana’s.

“Junpei—”

“I’m fine,” Junpei says through gritted teeth. He takes a deep breath. What had Akane been talking about when he’d been hallucinating? What had he heard? ...Reverie Syndrome? Something about Reverie Syndrome. Yes, that’s it. “How does Reverie Syndrome relate to six billion people dying?”

“You should know,” Akane says.

“Huh?” Junpei lifts his head slightly so he can see her.

“A crisis,” she says, and her eyes are full of determination. “Mankind is currently facing what is clearly an unprecedented crisis. Those affected are sensing its coming.”

Junpei frowns. So six billion people are about to die, and that might be why he’s having all these damn hallucinations? “Hey, Akane. How does Reverie Syndrome manifest? What are the symptoms?”

“People who are affected stop reacting to the reality around them. The most common effect is that the victims end up in a trance-like coma, where they can’t see or hear what’s going on,” Akane says.

Oh. Hmm. That… sounds exactly like what Junpei has been experiencing for months, and it  _ would _ explain why he keeps seeing bits and pieces of the future. He’s about to ask another question when he notices Carlos deep in thought. Looks like he knows something about Reverie Syndrome, too.

“Why do you ask, Junpei?” Akane asks.

Well, not like he has anything to lose. Hell, Akane might be able to help him. “I, uh, think I might have Reverie Syndrome.”

“ _ What _ ?” Akane stands up so fast that Junpei’s afraid she’s going to fall down.

“I mean, I guess I’m not in a coma or anything, but I keep seeing things. It’s like I’m stuck in the future for a while. I’ve seen some of the stuff that happens here, I’m pretty sure.” Junpei tries to say it casually, but he can see the worry on Akane’s face just increasing with each word. “Look, we’re on a time limit, and we’re both going to forget this conversation anyway, so just don’t worry about it, okay?” Junpei says.

Akane hesitates, then nods and sits back down.

“Uh, so… you’re both Japanese, right? And you lived in Japan as kids?” Carlos says, tactfully switching the topic.

“Yeah,” Junpei says, not sure where this is going.

“You were childhood friends, right? You went to the same school,” Carlos continues.

Junpei nods. “How do you know that?”

“Sigma told me. We lived in close quarters for five days. Information travels fast,” Carlos points out. “So whose idea was it for you to join?”

“Huh?”

“The Dcom experiment. You guys signed up together, right?” Carlos asks.

“No, we didn’t… We did this on our own,” Akane says, averting her gaze.

“Wait. You guys just happened to bump into each other at Dcom?” Carlos raises an eyebrow.

Junpei shakes his head, then regrets it instantly as he gets briefly overwhelmed by dizziness. “It wasn’t a coincidence. I knew she’d be here. Her brother and I have been trying to track her down for months.”

Akane gasped. “Aoi?”

“Yeah. I live with him,” Junpei says, and decides to leave out the part where Aoi is really, really angry at Akane for kidnapping Clover. “So, Carlos, why did  _ you  _ subject yourself to this circus?”

“I didn’t mention it before? I… well, I kind of really need a lot of cash,” Carlos says sheepishly. “They said they’d give us five hundred thousand dollars if we joined up.”

“Huh. Color me surprised. You strike me more as a hero of justice who does things because they’re right, not because they pay well,” Junpei remarks.

“A what?” Carlos says, giving Junpei a blank stare.

Junpei shrugs. “Didn’t you say you’re a firefighter? A really good one? You’ve faced off against danger, and saved a whole bunch of people. Sounds like a hero to me.”  _ Unlike me. I’m the person they send in when it’s too late. _

“Eh, I just have good instincts,” Carlos says modestly. “It doesn’t seem to matter where I find myself. They’re pretty good at telling me which path has death at the end.”

“Do you have any more questions, Carlos?” Akane asks, and Carlos shakes his head. “Then Junpei, I have a question for you.”

Junpei groans. “I don’t like the sound of that. What could you possibly want to ask me?”

“About your Reverie Syndrome. You still seem pretty aware of reality to me,” Akane says.

“Oh, that.” Junpei sighs and shakes his head. “Hate to break it to you, but I’ve been having hallucinations the whole time we’ve been talking. I’ve just been doing my best to ignore them.”

“You have?” Carlos asks.

“Yeah. It’s pretty easy to tell what’s real and what’s not because…” Junpei glances behind the couch. He can see suits of armor with guns, preparing to shoot the three of them, and he can feel his future self’s untethered fear. “Let’s just say my hallucinations aren’t usually mundane. I guess you can probably figure out why I have trouble eating. Kind of hard to eat food when I see and smell blood everywhere.”

Akane and Carlos both stare at him in silence.

“What?”

“Dude, that sounds really hard to handle,” Carlos says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Junpei blinks, and Carlos has blood all over his face. 

“Honestly, it’s almost weirder for me to  _ not _ have any hallucinations to contend with, at this point,” Junpei says. He closes his eyes and opens them again, and the blood is gone, but he can still smell it. He can always, always smell it.

“Are you… sure you’re going to be okay?” Akane asks quietly.

Junpei shrugs indifferently. “If not, then you’ll be one dead person closer to getting out of here.”

“ _ Junpei _ !” Akane shouts.

Junpei winces. What’s she so angry for? She didn’t seem to mind playing keep-away for a year, so why does she care if he dies? “What? It won’t be murder if I just starve to death.”

“That’s not why I’m angry! How can you— why are you— ugh!” Akane storms off to the corner, apparently done trying to convince Junpei of… whatever she was trying to say. Junpei’s confused more than anything.

He burrows his head back between his knees. He’s even more exhausted than he was before. That hallucination of Diana’s voice had taken a lot out of him, and it doesn’t help that his body’s reaction to anesthetic is to panic uncontrollably. Panic doesn’t come for free, and he’s already running on empty. He needs to conserve his energy.

If what he’s seen in his dreams is any indication of what they’re about to face, he’ll need it.


	3. First Come, First Served (C-team)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> C-team is trapped in the decontamination room. With nothing better to do, they have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for suicidal ideation, depression; mentions of blood, death, alcoholism, and hospitalization
> 
> This takes place at 18:10 on the timeline where the three teams successfully spread the votes.

“This is called the decontamination room?” Carlos says, looking up at the showerheads.

“I think you’re supposed to clean off before returning to the surface. Well, that was for when there was a nuclear war and the world was contaminated…” Akane looks over at the door. “The map shows an elevator hall beyond this door… If we came down the elevator normally, we’d be able to run into this room immediately, but...”

Junpei shakes his head. The door is firmly shut.

“What about that? It’s connected to the lounge,” Carlos says, gesturing to the other door in the room.

“I checked it earlier, but no dice,” Junpei says wearily. He walks over to the wall and sinks to the floor. He has a terrible headache, and his perpetual hunger is starting to make him weak.

“Do you think Zero trapped us in here to make us play the Decision Game?” Akane thinks aloud.

“It’s pretty obvious at this point,” Carlos says, dismayed. He looks down at his watch. “18:10.”

“I think it was about 13:30 when we finished voting and the drug put us to sleep,” Akane says.

Junpei groans and closes his eyes. “We slept for four whole hours? No wonder I’m so fucking tired. I haven’t slept that much in  _ weeks _ .”

“Junpei, I’m starting to think you’re not very good at taking care of yourself,” Carlos says, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s not on purpose. I just… couldn’t.” Junpei rests his head against the wall behind him. “It’s not a big deal. Just not great when I’m supposed to actually be staying awake.”

“Junpei…” Akane sits down in front of Junpei, and Carlos sits down next to him. Oh, hell. They’re about to interrogate him. “During the vote, you said… you said that if you died, it wouldn’t matter. Why did you…?”

“I dunno. I just don’t think my life is all that important. Pretty sure I don’t contribute anything unique to the world,” Junpei says casually.

“How can you be so horrible? You used to… you never would’ve said that a year ago,” Akane says indignantly.

“Like you’re one to talk,” Junpei says bitterly, his brain-to-mouth filter shutting off.

“Wh... What happened to you, Junpei? What happened while I was gone?” Akane says, and she looks so  _ sad _ . Junpei can’t decide if he feels vindicated or like a shitty person.

“I’d like to know more about you, too,” Carlos says.

“What’s that, Carlos? Does that mean you’re interested in me?” Junpei says playfully, opening his eyes so he can see Carlos’ reaction.

Carlos, of course, is too good of a person to say anything rude in return. “No, my focus is on my sister. Got no time for a love life.”

“Heh, so our hero of justice has a hero complex,” Junpei says with a smirk.

“Junpei! Carlos really is worried about y—”

“Well, it’s more I want to know about you both. Weren’t you friends as kids? And last year, you were trapped just like this and escaped together. So why…”

“Why the animosity, you mean? First of all, I haven’t slept a damn wink since I got to Dcom, so you’ll have to excuse me if I’m a little irritable. I know it’s my fault, but…” Junpei sighs heavily. “Maybe if I hadn’t been pulled into the events of last year, I’d actually be able to take a goddamn nap without reliving the worst things I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen people die. Horrible, cruel deaths I never wanted to see... So many…” Junpei laughs without humor. “Lots of those deaths were my own, too. It’s enough to drive a person crazy, don’t you think?”

Akane looks away, guilt in her eyes. Great. That’s exactly what Junpei wants to see.

“After what happened last year, I quit school and joined a detective firm, all because of Akane there. She up and disappeared, so I joined a detective firm to try and find her. It’s small, but known to work among the underground. I've snuck into places running human organ trafficking like they're trading cookies. Saw a coworker I'd just finished eating with pushed off a rooftop the other day.”

Fuck, he’s about to start crying. Junpei takes a deep breath and forces his tears back. He can’t let himself break down while in the middle of a fucking death game.

“Never had a by-the-books case where I just had to ‘prove he cheated.’ Every job that passed my hands was dirty and dangerous. That’s when I realized: humans aren’t as beautiful as I thought… I’d only been skimming the surface all this time. But, you know...” Junpei closes his eyes. “Someone has to do it, and maybe it’s better that it’s me. With these shitty visions haunting me every moment of my life, I already have to see all sorts of horrible things. Might as well see them in reality, too, right?”

“Junpei, that’s not… you shouldn’t…” Akane is at a loss for words. Something about Akane’s expression pulls at Junpei’s heartstrings. She might as well hear the whole truth.

“So everyday, after work, I used to drink myself to sleep. I slept in my bathtub with the shower running. It was the only way I was able to get the scent of blood off me. Not that it made the smell go away for me. It never goes away…” Junpei shudders involuntarily. He can smell it now, too.

“Used to?” Carlos asks.

Junpei smiles wryly. “Ha, yeah. Got hospitalized in October for severe alcohol withdrawal, basically took me out of commission for the whole month. Couldn’t really let that happen again when I was so close to finding Akane, and it would’ve been unfair to my roommates, too. They had to babysit me the whole time I was out.”

“You… live with Aoi, right?” Akane asks.

“Yeah. Him, Light, and Clover. Although when I was hospitalized, Hazuki and Seven came to visit, too. Apparently, I almost died. I don’t remember it all that well.”

“Oh, you all still keep in contact…?” Akane says, a hint of sadness in her voice.

Junpei nods. “Clover’s fault. She roped Aoi into doing a bunch of shit for her as an apology, and then she and Light made me and Aoi live with them after we, uh, made some bad decisions while tracking you down.”

“Oh…” Akane looks away. “I’m glad that Aoi is doing well.”

“Don’t kid yourself, Akane.” Junpei’s voice is colder than he intends it to be. He takes a deep breath. “Let me give you some advice. You’re welcome to do whatever you think is necessary to get the best timeline, but remember that the best timeline for the world may not be the best timeline for the people you leave behind. People aren’t just pawns to be moved around in a game of four-dimensional chess.”

“I-I’m sorry, but—”

“You had to. I get it. Aoi and I both do. That doesn’t mean we’re happy about it,” Junpei says, too resigned to muster up any anger. “Free the Soul is trying to cleanse the world by releasing Radical-6, right? So you had to do all this shit to try and stop them, including coming here to Dcom.”

“How do you…?” Akane gives him a concerned look.

“What, did you forget? I can see shitty futures just by thinking about them. Sigma said something about six billion people dying. That was all it took. I’ve been living in 2029 all damn week,” Junpei says bitterly.

“Oh my god…” Akane looks horrified. She must’ve seen some of that future, too. That dark, dark future.

“What’s… Free the Soul?” Carlos asks.

“They’re a freaky terrorist organization who never stop trying to create their ‘New World,’” Junpei says wearily.

“They abducted my brother and I ten years ago,” Akane whispers.

“And the game we played last year was related to that big kidnapping case,” Junpei says. “Aoi and Akane were both tracking Free the Soul separately. Seven and I started helping out more as we got more intel. And in October, I started seeing… the world after Radical-6 wipes us out…”

Junpei trails off as a series of images flash through his head. Piles of dead bodies everywhere. A huge explosion. Light, writhing in pain. Aoi, so starved that he can’t even move. When Junpei speaks again, his voice is shaking.

“I didn’t know that’s what it was, of course, but once Sigma said his spiel, it all made sense. Lucky me, it also made the visions a hell of a lot worse.”

“Junpei, why didn’t you say something earlier?” Akane says worriedly.

“When? You, Sigma, and Phi kept everyone out. The only time I talked to you was when my future self decided to take over, and I don’t even remember that conversation very well,” Junpei says sourly. “Besides, it’s not like it would’ve changed anything. That future has to happen. That’s the only way I can see it, right?”

Akane falls silent. Junpei closes his eyes again and rests his head against the wall. Talking for so long has completely drained him.

“Do you guys think that Free the Soul has something to do with Zero the second?” Carlos asks finally.

“I’m sure I could figure it out if I had any fucking control over what I see,” Junpei mutters. “What about you, Akane?”

“No, I… I tried multiple times to see what was going to happen at Dcom, but it was like something was blocking me,” Akane says, shaking her head. “That’s why I was so surprised to hear that you were able to see things from this Decision Game ahead of time.”

Junpei throws his hands in the air. “Like I said, no fucking control. The morphogenetic field throws me whatever it wants to, and I get to experience it whether I like it or not.”

“I… I know this is probably not the easiest thing to talk about, but what have you seen that takes place here? Maybe we can use that to our advantage,” Carlos says.

“That’s not how it works. If I saw it, then it has to happen. There’s a version of us, somewhere out there, that makes the choices leading to that outcome,” Junpei says, resigned. “Also, I have no idea how everything I’ve seen connects, and I don’t remember half of it. Like I said, my memory’s shit because I can’t sleep to save my life. I’m lucky I remember my own goddamn name.”

Akane opens her mouth to say something, but Zero’s voice comes on over the intercom, interrupting her. Akane and Carlos both stand up, but Junpei doesn’t have the energy to. Zero tells them that nobody has been executed, and that the button on the wall could get them out of this hellhole.

Junpei is ashamed that part of him wants to push that button.

Despite everything he says, it’s not like he  _ wants _ to die. But if someone has to die, it might as well be him. Except in this case, Carlos and Akane would die, too, and that’s not fair to them. But Junpei doesn’t want to be a murderer, either.

“We should trust the other teams,” Akane says urgently.

Carlos turns to Junpei. “What do you think?”

“Akane. Did you leave a way for Aoi to free Clover if we don’t make it out of here?” Junpei says.

“Yes, I… I did,” Akane says quietly.

“Great. Then my life is worthless. Do whatever you want with it,” Junpei says indifferently. He lays down fully and closes his eyes, turning away from the button.

“What the  _ hell _ , man? This choice affects you, too!” Carlos says urgently.

“I died from hydrofluoric acid while eating breakfast two weeks ago,” Junpei says drily. “There’s a timeline where you hit that button, and there’s a timeline where you don’t. You can decide which one you want to be on,” Junpei says indifferently. 

“Junpei… in just a year, you’ve…” Junpei hears Akane sit down next to him. “I’m so sorry. I… I should have been there. To help you.”

“Can’t change the past, but the future’s up to you. If we get out of here, anyway. If we die, well, I guess you’ll just have to die with some regrets. And so will I,” Junpei says, his voice a mix of remorse and bitterness. “Anyway, I’m going to go to sleep so that the anesthetic doesn’t give me a panic attack. Good luck, Carlos.”

Junpei’s eyes are closed, so he doesn’t see the deep concern on Carlos’ and Akane’s faces.


	4. Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junpei remembers some of the hallucinations that he's had before. He probably would've been better off forgetting them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for poisoning, dismemberment, blood, death, hallucinations
> 
> This takes place at 18:10 in the timeline where Q-team is executed by the vote.

It doesn’t take long for Junpei to start feeling the effects of the poison. It’s not nearly as shocking or anxiety-inducing as it should be, though, because Junpei recognizes the feeling immediately. He’s experienced this before, during one of his hallucinations. He hadn’t been able to  _ see _ what was going on, but he’d definitely  _ felt _ all fifteen minutes of excruciating pain.

If he closes his eyes, he can almost hear the sounds of Aoi cooking, Clover arguing with him, Light playing the harp—

“Are you all right, Junpei? You’ve been staring at the wall for a little bit,” Akane says.

“Y-yeah. Sorry.” Junpei brings himself back to his present. He needs to focus. They only have a short amount of time to find the antidote.

“Reverie Syndrome?” Akane asks.

“Yeah, sort of.” Junpei winces as pain courses through his head. He’s used to headaches. This is nothing.

They find the antidote case with five minutes to spare. Junpei looks down at the case, and suddenly his body feels like it’s on fire. He groans in pain and drops to his hands and knees.

“Junpei!” Akane starts to run over to him, and Junpei shakes his head.

“The… the antidotes… figure out… the right one...” Junpei manages to bite out. The pain is wildly oscillating from deathly to nonexistent.

Is he feeling the effects of the poison in this timeline, or another one?

Junpei takes a few deep breaths and forces himself back to his feet. He has to help, or they won’t be able to figure it out. The world is starting to spin around him, but he’s faced worse. Being poisoned almost feels as bad as severe alcohol withdrawal, and he dealt with that for four days before giving in.

“C, D, G, and H, right?” Junpei says, words strained.

“Yes,” Akane says, giving him a worried look. “Are you sure…?”

“If I don’t lick these samples, we’re  _ all _ going to die,” Junpei says, and with shaking hands, he picks up the first sample. 

He manages to lick all four samples before the pain becomes too much for him to handle. He leans against the wall and focuses on breathing. He needs to stay awake. He has to. “No numbness,” he gasps.

“My tongue feels weird,” Carlos says, or at least, that’s what he thinks Carlos is saying. His words are shaped slightly wrong, maybe because his tongue is numb.

“Then the answer is—” Before Akane can finish her sentence, she collapses. 

“Shit. Akane!” Junpei limps over to her and kneels down next to her. “Our resistances… they must be different...” Junpei winces as his headache suddenly gets a lot worse. It’s getting harder to breathe. “Carlos, you have... to choose. I can’t… hold on much longer.”

“Here.” Carlos opens one of the cases and hands two bottles to Junpei. His hands are shaking so much that he almost drops them. Akane opens her eyes weakly, and Junpei gives her one of the bottles.

“Junpei…” Akane mumbles. Junpei looks down at her, but his vision is too blurry to clearly make out her face.

“Hang on, Akane,” Junpei gasps through heaving breaths. He can’t tell which of them is in more pain right now. It doesn’t matter. He opens the bottle and gulps the antidote. He hopes it’s the right one.

~*~

Junpei wakes up to find Carlos carrying him somewhere. His head hurts and he’s dizzy as hell. It’s like the worst hangover in the world, except he knows he hasn’t had anything to drink. He moans softly as Carlos jostles him slightly. “Oh, thank goodness, you’re awake,” Carlos says. “We’re heading to the lounge. Akane figured something out.”

“Okay,” Junpei mumbles as he closes his eyes. Shit, he’s so tired. Probably because he’s getting all these short bursts of rest after going without sleep for so long. Stupid Zero. Stupid Decision Game.

Carlos places him down on one of the couches. Junpei doesn’t resist. He needs a moment to recenter himself before he can muster up the energy to move.

A few minutes pass, Junpei doesn’t know how many. Akane and Carlos come back to the couches. Carlos sits down on the other couch, and Akane starts pacing back and forth. “Are you feeling better, Junpei?” Akane asks.

“Yeah. Maybe not a good idea to get poisoned on an empty stomach,” Junpei says with a groan. “It’s my own fault. I’ll be fine.”

Akane sighs and glances over at Carlos. “You don’t look all right, either, Carlos. Maybe the poison’s not gone yet.”

Carlos shakes his head. “No, that’s not it.”

“You’re worried about D-Team, then?” Junpei asks, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

“Um, Junpei, this might sound messed up to you, but… I… saw something earlier. Like a vision,” Carlos says slowly.

“I see hallucinations all the time. Hit me,” Junpei says, rolling his eyes.

“Junpei, your head… it was in the pantry. Just your head,” Carlos says quietly.

Junpei blinks, and suddenly he’s in the dark, pinned down to the floor. He can’t see anything. There’s an excruciating pain in his right shoulder, and he smells the scent of blood gushing out from the wound. His left shoulder is next, followed by his right leg, and his left, and then—

Junpei blinks, and the smell is gone, but the pain lingers for a moment longer before disappearing. He gets the feeling that this isn’t his first time experiencing that timeline, given how many nights he’d woken up gasping for breath.

Junpei sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah. I think I know how that happens.”

“How can you… be so calm?” Carlos says, looking up at Junpei with sheer despair in his eyes.

“I don’t know. What am I supposed to feel? It’s not like I can change it,” Junpei says indifferently. “I guess I kind of wish I didn’t get the pleasure of  _ experiencing _ dismemberment every time I think about it, but…” Junpei shrugs.

Akane covers her mouth with one hand. “Oh, that must be horrible…”

“I dunno. It’s not the worst one I’ve had,” Junpei says.

“You’re just that numb to it, huh…” Carlos says, his voice a mix of horror and amazement.

Junpei scratches the back of his head. “Uh, I wouldn’t say  _ that _ . I just can’t really afford to get distracted right now, so I have to push it off. Future Junpei’s problem, not mine.”

Akane and Carlos both give Junpei a worried look. He’s starting to get used to this.

“I don’t know why you’re so worried. I get the easy part. I just have to die. You guys have to deal with what happens  _ after  _ that. I’m pretty sure Akane tries to kill you with a chainsaw, Carlos.”

“Wh-what?” Akane says, shocked. “I would never… how could I…”

Junpei shrugs. “Just telling you the fun things I get to see on a daily basis. Who knows, maybe it’s my brain making shit up.”

“No, I don’t think that’s…” Akane shakes her head. “Carlos, do you know about the morphogenetic field? It’s a special field that exists in a dimension that we can’t see that acts as a medium for information. I think you’re both accessing the field to see the same history.”

“That’s… crazy…” Carlos trails off, his gaze falling on Junpei.

“Remember what you said during the vote? You can tell down which path death waits, and which is safe. You’re a firefighter, right? There must’ve been countless times when you found yourself facing danger. Maybe every time you made a decision, you were observing other histories,” Akane points out. 

“Why do you know all this, Akane?” Carlos asks.

“I have the same power as you. And Junpei can do it, too,” Akane says. “He saved me once. It’s thanks to his power that I’m even here at all.

Junpei shakes his head. “I haven’t  _ really _ used the morphogenetic field since last year. I’m pretty sure everything that happened last year was due to your skill.”

“I don’t think—”

Before Akane can finish her sentence, the screens switch from showing static to showing Zero’s damn face. Lucky him.

As Junpei falls to the floor, he wonders just how many timelines Carlos has seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a side note, the timeline that Carlos mentions here (the timeline where D-team is executed) will not show up in this fic because Junpei is dead in that timeline! Assume things go exactly the way they do in canon in that timeline.


	5. Monty Hall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> C-team wakes up in the control room. Junpei has a feeling that he knows how this ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers for suffocation and death
> 
> This takes place at 0:10 in the timeline where Q-team is executed and Phi dies in the trash room.

Carlos looks up at the ceiling, and Junpei gets the feeling that this isn’t going to end well for them. He can’t quite remember why.

“A carbon dioxide extinguisher,” Carlos notes.

“You’re definitely a firefighter. Your eye spots different things than us,” Akane says, impressed.

“Occupational hazard,” Carlos explains. “Whenever I go somewhere new, I end up checking the fire extinguishers first thing.”

How nice it must be to have a job that gives you habits that can save people’s lives. The things Junpei has picked up from his job— know where the exits to a room are, always have an escape plan, keep at least three mundane objects that can be used as weapons on you at all times— aren’t useful for anyone’s survival but his own.

And, well, Junpei doesn’t exactly care to protect his own life. Why would he, when he’s just another of the many terrible people on the planet?

“And because you do that all the time, you’re able to save so many lives,” Akane gushes.

“It’s really nothing much,” Carlos says modestly. 

“What are you talking about? You dive into danger without thinking twice about your own safety. You do it like it’s nothing! I think that’s pretty amazing,” Akane points out.

“She’s right. Having that kind of conviction isn’t easy,” Junpei says earnestly. He knows that better than anyone. Maybe he’d have an easier time diving into danger if he had faith that he wouldn’t relive the experience over, and over, and over again.

“Huh? What do you mean, Junpei? You used to rush to the rescue all the time when we were younger,” Akane says.

Junpei almost laughs. Maybe he was a good person when he was younger, but now… No, he’s beyond saving. “Yeah, well, I don’t really think I’m fit to play the action hero. I’ll leave that to the people who can actually do it well.”

“Junpei…” Akane gives him that same worried look.

“I get to relive all the different ways I’ve fucked up every damn day and night. I know my place,” Junpei says indifferently.

“That’s not true! What about the good times, where things went  _ right _ ?” Akane says, raising her voice.

Junpei shakes his head. “Trust me. It’s pretty rare that I get good outcomes. I bet Carlos has a much higher success rate.”

Junpei thinks, briefly, about the distant future that he’s seen. He’s only seen bits and pieces, but it seems to him like maybe by then, he’ll have enough control as an esper to actually make a difference. Maybe then, he’ll feel like a hero. But right now? All he gets to do is watch people die.

Carlos looks down at his watch. “Ah, it’s January first! Worst way to start the year off… I’ve never not been able to say happy new year to Maria before.”

“Maria…?” Akane asks.

“My little sister,” Carlos replies.

“Well, let’s find a way out of this room so that you can join her,” Akane says with a smile.

They solve all the puzzles in the room, and then a fire starts, and the carbon dioxide extinguisher goes off. And that’s when Junpei realizes what timeline they’re in.

“Shit.” Junpei closes his eyes. There were three possibilities that he’d seen for Clover: Akane kept her until the distant future, Akane released her after the game, and nobody ever found her. But for Akane to keep her for the future, he would have to get out of this alive. And he knows… that’s not happening. “Akane. Where’s Clover?”

“What?” Akane looks at him in surprise.

“Clover. You took her, right? I didn’t get a chance to ask you about it before, while we were at Dcom.” Junpei can see that Akane’s about to get defensive, so he adds, “I’m not mad. I just want to know where she is.”

“I can’t… tell you that,” Akane says, averting her gaze.

“Then promise me that when you get out of here, you’ll contact Aoi and tell him where she is,” Junpei says firmly.

“I—”

“ _ Please _ .” It’s already getting hard to breathe. There’s only one oxygen mask in the lockers, and there’s no way in hell that he’s letting Carlos and Akane die so he can live.

Akane doesn’t get a chance to answer him because the announcer starts speaking. Carlos has to choose a locker, then another one.

Junpei is the first to collapse.

“Junpei…” Akane collapses next to him and her eyes flutter closed. She’s having more trouble breathing than he is. He just can’t stand up anymore. He’s too dizzy.

Carlos opens the right locker. There’s only one mask inside, just as Junpei remembers it.

Junpei forces himself to sit up. He can’t even see straight, but he scoots over to Akane and lifts her up gently. “Carlos. I have... a favor to… ask you.”

“I know. I haven’t been a firefighter for ten years to make the wrong choice now,” Carlos says, and he puts the mask on Akane.

“Thank… you…” Junpei coughs. His lungs are starting to give out. Well, it’s not the worst way to die.

“Jun...pei…” Akane opens her eyes slowly. She’s hardly lucid.

Junpei gives her the best smile he can manage. “Hey, I’m glad… I got to hear your voice one last time…”

“Huh…?”

“It brings back that time… at the festival. Remember? We went… together. You found this… weird character mask and bought two. You… tried to make me… wear one. Oh... that’s right. You were… wearing a yukata then. You said… it had been your mom’s… before she died... That’s why… it was so big… on you.” Junpei feels himself fading. He has maybe ten, twenty seconds left.

“Junpei, no! Hurry, put the mask on!” Akane insists.

“Akane… go to the festival… for me… and… please… release Clover…” Junpei’s eyelids drop against his will. The world around him is turning into static.

The last thing he hears is Akane’s weak voice saying, “I promise.”


	6. Anthropic Principle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> C-team wakes up in the rec room. Akane can tell that something is bothering Junpei, but she isn' t sure what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers for guns, death, alcoholism, blood
> 
> This takes place at 0:10 in the timeline where Q-team is executed and Phi is the only survivor of the trash room debacle.

They wake up in the rec room. It’s the new year, according to their watches, at least. Akane tries her best to remember what happened the last time they woke up (assuming there was a last time), but her mind is a blank slate. As they start to look for exits, she notices that Junpei is staring off into space again. “Junpei, are you okay?” she asks from across the room.

Junpei doesn’t respond at first, and Akane’s about to ask again when he blinks a couple of times and shakes his head. “I’m… fine. Just… seeing things, you know the drill.”

Junpei does not look fine. His face is pale and his whole body is trembling. But Akane hasn’t gotten a single straight answer out of him this whole time, so she decides not to press him any further for now.

After a few minutes, they gather back together in front of the bar. Junpei’s hands are still shaking. “Junpei, are you sure you’re okay?” Akane asks again.

“You know, asking me the same question minutes apart isn’t going to change the answer,” Junpei says wearily, leaning back against the bar and closing his eyes. 

“Then give me the truthful answer,” Akane says.

“Ugh, fine. Of course I’m not okay. We’re trapped in a game meant to kill us. It’s weirder that both of  _ you _ are completely  _ calm _ . Well, no, I guess Carlos is probably in danger all the time as a firefighter, but what about you, Akane? You’re just used to death games now?”

“No, I…” Akane averts her gaze. “You’re right. I’m scared, too. But Junpei, you’re  _ shaking _ .”

Junpei opens his eyes and glances down at his feet. “Oh. I guess I am. Kinda hard to tell these days.”

“Junpei, what  _ happened _ to you? You used to be so…”

“Yeah, well, people change. You’re the one who taught me that, Akane,” Junpei says bitterly.

Akane doesn’t know what he means by that, but she decides it’s better to leave that be for now. “True, looks, tastes, and other superficial things change with time. But there must be something inside you that’s still the same. Swimming, going to festivals, getting into snowball fights in the schoolyard… During the incident with the rabbits, you protected me, didn’t you? The Junpei from back then… He must be somewhere.”

“Says the one of us who changed first,” Junpei says coldly. “No, you might not have changed at all. It’s just me seeing things I missed before.”

“Junpei…”

“You think the Junpei from back there is still in here somewhere? I think he probably died off when it became normal for me to relive my own death every night.” Junpei turns away. “Maybe that’s what happened to you, too. I can’t blame you.”

“Let me tell you something, Junpei. Say what you need to see while there’s time to say it,” Carlos advises.

Junpei sighs. “If I died right now, the only regret I’d have is that I wasn’t able to save Clover, first. And maybe that I wasn’t able to get Akane back to Aoi.”

Carlos starts talking about his family, about how he was able to save his sister but couldn’t save his parents. Two things strike Akane during the conversation: first, that Carlos was able to figure out how to save his sister, and second, that Junpei seems to have anticipated what Carlos was going to say about having regrets. Why had Junpei said he couldn’t access the morphogenetic field if he…?

Akane dismisses the thought for now and starts searching the room with Carlos and Junpei. As they’re looking around the bar, she glances over at Junpei just in time to see… fear? despair? in his eyes. It’s only there for a moment, and then he turns away and it’s gone.

What had  _ happened _ to Junpei?

“Junpei, is something bothering you?” she asks, trying to go for a different approach.

Junpei glares at her. “Please stop worrying about me, okay? I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Maybe talking about it will help,” Akane says.

Junpei glances over at the bar, then back at her, then sighs. “Fine. I… I’m an alcoholic, okay? And I’ve been trying to go clean, so having a bar in the room isn’t exactly my favorite thing in the world.” He closes his eyes. “Let’s just… get this done, okay?”

Akane starts to reach out to comfort him, then pulls back. “Okay…”

Junpei doesn’t talk for the rest of the time that they’re looking for coins. He looks like he’s somewhere far away.

The knights show their Gatling guns. Before the announcer has even finished explaining the game, Junpei’s eyes widen in horror. Has he seen this before? Does he know how this ends for them? ...No, he can’t know for sure how it ends, but maybe he’s seen some of the possibilities.

They roll the dice, and by some luck, they are the timeline where all the numbers flip to ones. Akane and Carlos are both too shocked to speak.

Junpei falls to the floor.

“Junpei!” Akane kneels down next to him. His eyes are closed, but he’s still breathing.

“He’s okay. Just unconscious,” Carlos says, and he picks Junpei up rather easily. Junpei’s so skinny. So frail. So… close to breaking.

They walk back to the lounge. Junpei’s breathing is unsteady, his face twisted in pain. Akane wonders what he’s seeing, what’s torturing him. 

“Hey, Akane,” Carlos says, turning to her. “Did Junpei always neglect his health like this?”

Akane shakes her head. “He used to rush into things alone, and maybe he was a little rash, but he… he never cared so  _ little _ about himself. I don’t… I don’t know what happened to him.”

“Huh…” Carlos looks down at Junpei with worry clear in his eyes.

At that moment, as if sensing that they were talking about him, Junpei awakens gasping for breath and sits up quickly. His eyes are wide with terror. For a moment, he doesn’t speak, just looks around the lounge. Then, he falls back onto the couch and sighs in relief. “Fuck. It was just another goddamn dream. Where are we?”

“The lounge,” Carlos says, confused. “Didn’t you just look around…?”

Junpei closes his eyes. “I can’t see shit. The only reason I can hear you is because you’re both dead in the vision I’m trapped in. Or, uh, I guess vision is probably the wrong word for it since I can’t see anything.”

“What are you experiencing?” Akane asks.

“The future where we don’t roll all ones on the die,” Junpei says quietly. “I... think I passed out from the pain. That’s all I remember, anyway. Man, I thought we were dead.”

“In another timeline, we are,” Akane says grimly.

“The one who lives on does so due to circumstance…” Junpei thinks aloud.

“The anthropic principle?” Akane asks.

“Uh…” Junpei shrugs. “I dunno. It just came to me.”

“It’s the idea that because there are many different timelines, the fact that we are the timeline that happened to roll all ones is just due to circumstance,” Akane explains. “Although, we have no way of knowing if those histories exist, because we’re dead in those histories.”

“No, I assure you, they exist,” Junpei says with a groan. “How the hell did Light move after getting shot with five bullets? I feel like my body’s on fire.”

“What are you talking about?” Carlos asks.

“Uh… I guess I don’t know for sure, but I think, in last year’s game, there was an alternate history where one of my friends got shot five times in a row and still lived long enough to trap someone else with him in an incinerator,” Junpei says, 

Akane gasps. “You  _ saw _ that?”

“Not at the time,” Junpei says, shaking his head. “But it shows up in my dreams sometimes. Not as much as it used to.” Junpei averts his gaze. Akane’s chest tightens. It’s her fault, her fault,  _ her _ fault...

“Now announcing… the current casualties…” Akane looks up at the ceiling instinctively as the announcer begins to speak. “Q-team: Q, Mira, Eric. D-team: Diana, Sigma. As a result, five X-passes will be revealed. EYE, KILL, FOOL, MOON, FATE. That is all.”

“So only Phi is left…” Akane holds back tears. She hadn’t known any of them well, but that doesn’t mean she wanted them to  _ die _ , either.

“You only need one more person to die, right?” Junpei says, and Akane immediately grabs his wrist.

“Junpei,  _ stop it _ . We’re not killing you to get out of here,” she says sharply.

Junpei sighs and opens his eyes. “I know. Just thought I’d offer it up anyway. Well, nice knowing you.”

“Huh, what do you—”

Akane never finishes her sentence. One moment she’s in the lounge, and in the next, she is covered in blood and standing over Junpei's and Carlos' dead bodies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is unfair, isn't it? :)


	7. Ambidex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're in the reactor room. Junpei has been dreading this since he first remembered what happens here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for burning alive, death, blood, murder, decapitation, guns
> 
> This takes place at 0:10 in the timeline where Q-team is executed and all of D-team makes it out of the trash room alive.
> 
> If this chapter seems confusing, it's because Carlos SHIFTs twice, and since this is from Junpei's point of view, you don't get to see everything that Carlos sees (the other two endings to the Ambidex fragment, and the Pop Off fragment from Q-team).

Junpei’s eyes widen, and he stumbles backwards as soon as he sees the reactor. He’s seen and felt that thing explode many, many times before. He hears Carlos and Akane talking about the reactor, and Carlos talking about the new year and his sister, but the words don’t make any sense to him. All he can think of— no, all he can  _ feel _ — is his skin blistering and burning up as the antimatter explosion kills them all. Or the poison, coursing through his veins, as he falls to the floor. Or the look on Carlos’ face as Junpei kills him. Or—

“Junpei? You’re spacing out again,” Akane says, giving him a concerned look.

“S-sorry, what?” Junpei blinks a few times until reality comes back into focus.

“I said, happy new year, Junpei!” Akane says excitedly, bowing her head. “I’ve wanted to say that to you for ten years, but I couldn’t.”

“You definitely  _ could’ve _ said it last year, but…” Junpei trails off and shakes his head. “Never mind. Happy new year, I guess.”  _ Happy new year, but this doesn’t end well for any of us, no matter what choices we make _ .

Carlos pats Junpei on the back. “Come on, Junpei. Give her a proper response. She’s your girlfriend, right?”

“No, she’s… I don’t know. It’s complicated,” Junpei says, turning away.

“Huh. You guys definitely  _ act _ like you’re dating,” Carlos remarks.

_ Well, maybe we would be, in another timeline. But in this one, we won’t have the chance _ . There’s something in the back of Junpei’s mind, something that he can’t quite reach. This timeline has four outcomes. He knows that, somehow. Two of them end with him dead. One of them ends with him killing Carlos. What’s the fourth one? Fuck, he’s so hungry and tired, he can’t get the energy to reach out to that last history.

“Junpei…?” Akane shakes him gently by the shoulder.

Junpei winces. His headache is starting to become unmanageable. “Look, I… I need a minute. Can you guys… handle things for a bit?”

“Yes, but…” Akane’s worried about him again, damn it. She doesn’t have the  _ right _ to be worried, not when she left him alone for—

“Please leave me  _ alone _ ,” Junpei snaps.

“O...okay…” Akane walks away, and Junpei collapses to the ground, exhausted. He closes his eyes and tries his best to focus. Okay. He knows the reactor explodes, and there’s a chance that they die from it, but  _ why _ does it explode? There has to be a reason, right? Is it just the end result of this puzzle, or… No, these have all been  _ decision _ games. What decision is there to be made from an exploding reactor?

The other two histories that he knows about are still fuzzy in his head. He remembers dying from poison pretty well, given that he gets the distinct displeasure of watching Akane beat Carlos to death with a fire extinguisher. He’s seen that many times, and he doubts there’s any way he can stop it from happening. He has absolutely no control over Akane. Somehow, he gets the sense that there’s a history where Carlos dies from the poison instead.

So what’s the fourth option that he’s not seeing? How do they escape from the exploding reactor?

“How are you feeling, Junpei?” Carlos asks gently, kneeling down beside him.

“Like I just got burned alive and then hit by the fire truck that was supposed to save me,” Junpei says drily.

“Damn. If  _ I _ was driving that truck, I wouldn’t have hit you,” Carlos says with a grin.

“Hilarious.” Junpei forced himself to open his eyes. He’s starting to fall asleep, and he can’t have that.

“I think you should apologize to Akane. She’s been down ever since you snapped at her,” Carlos says, gesturing to where Akane is examining the control panel.

“The one who deserves an apology is me, not  _ her _ .” Junpei’s surprised by how bitter he sounds. He needs to rein himself back in. It does no good to anyone if he lets his emotions get the better of him here. Junpei stands up unsteadily. “Whatever. I’ll apologize.”

“Good.” Damn Carlos, he’s such a good person. He pats Junpei on the shoulder and then walks away.

Junpei walks over to Akane. “Hey. I’m sorry. For losing my temper at you. I know you’re just worried about me.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. It must get annoying to hear someone ask you how you’re doing all the time, when the answer is clearly…” Akane averts her gaze, but not before Junpei can see the guilt in her eyes. Huh, maybe she  _ is _ human, after all.

Junpei takes a deep breath. “No, I get it. But I’m also very irritable right now because I’ve gotten ten hours of sleep in the last week, and that’s only because Zero drugged us. So maybe, um, you could be a little patient with me? I’m trying my best.”

“All right.” Akane smiles. “You can rest, you know. Carlos and I can handle this.”

“It’s probably a bad idea to fall asleep while we’re stuck in a room,” Junpei says, shaking his head. “I’ll help.”

When the reactor threatens to go off, Junpei braces himself for the searing pain he knows all-too-well, but Carlos’ quick thinking saves them from a very painful death. A door slides open to a room in the back. Junpei has a terrible feeling about this. But Akane passes out from electrocution, so he and Carlos have to handle this. They have to play whatever decision game awaits them.

AB Game. Just the words are enough to send chills down Junpei’s spine. AB Game. AB Game. He knows those words somehow. Not from the past, but maybe… from the future? Even as the rules are explained, Junpei knows that he’s heard these rules in slightly different words before. The numbers are different, too. And for some reason, the word “quark” keeps running through his head…

Junpei looks back up at Carlos, and for a moment, he can see two things at once: Carlos falling to the floor dead, and Akane beating Carlos to death with a fire extinguisher. So there’s no good option, then. If Junpei’s death didn’t also mean Phi and Akane would die, he’d easily choose to let Carlos live, but… no, Carlos wouldn’t live, anyway, because Akane would beat him to death. Fuck, was there really no other choice?

“Hey, before we do this, do you mind if we check on Akane?” Junpei asks.

Carlos nods, and the two of them walk out of the room. Junpei sits down next to Akane and raises her gently so that her head is sitting in his lap. Looking at her peaceful face, Junpei feels guilty for even considering letting her die with him.

“This girl here, she’s always been really smart. If she thinks the tiniest thing is off, she’ll start debating with ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ like someone at least twice her age,” Junpei says with a fond smile. “But to all of us back in grade school, she was pretty strange. Well, I guess she came across as scary.”

“Did she get bullied a lot?” Carlos asks.

“No. It was just, well, not many people wanted to be friends. I—”

“Where…?” Carlos suddenly starts looking around, a blank expression on his face. It kind of reminds Junpei of how  _ he _ feels when he’s having hallucinations. “Is this before the AB game?”

Junpei gives Carlos a suspicious look. “Do you… not remember us walking out of the AB room a couple minutes ago?”

Carlos frowns. “You’re… about to tell me about Akane crying over rabbits… right?”

Junpei nods.

“Something’s… weird…” Carlos drifts off.

“Hey, Carlos. Do you happen to remember the two possible outcomes to the AB game?” Junpei asks, going purely off a hunch.

“Yeah… if I ally, you’ll betray, and if I betray, you’ll ally. It’s always the worst outcome,” Carlos says slowly.

“Oh, thank goodness. I thought I was going to have to watch Akane murder you with a fire extinguisher in real time,” Junpei says, relief flooding through his body.

“You… remember that?” Carlos asks.

“Not exactly. I can remember at least one instance where that particular vision caused me to lose a board game because I couldn’t focus,” Junpei says drily. “Of course, I had no clue who  _ you _ were, so it wasn’t as disturbing as it could’ve been.”

“Junpei, I’m seriously worried about your sanity, seeing stuff like this all the time,” Carlos says with a sigh.

Junpei shrugs. “I think just seeing it would be fine. It’s a lot worse to actually experience it, you know? Like in that history, I’m also dying because of the muscle relaxant while watching you get killed, which isn’t exactly pleasant.”

“Your pain tolerance must be extremely high,” Carlos says, shaking his head in dismay.

Akane’s eyes flutter open. “Junpei… Carlos…”

“How are you feeling?” Junpei asks.

Akane sits up slowly and looks around. “I’m fine. What happened?”

“You passed out right after we shut off the reactor. Then, that door opened,” Junpei says, gesturing to the AB room. And Carlos might be an esper,” Junpei says casually.

“Huh? An esper?” Carlos gives Junpei a blank stare.

“People who can access the morphogenetic field. It’s, uh…” Junpei looks to Akane for help.

“Think of it as another dimension where all of humanity’s thoughts are stored,” Akane says.

“Basically, the idea is, you can send and receive information through the morphogenetic field, even across timelines. That’s  _ probably _ why I keep getting all these stupid hallucinations of other histories,” Junpei grumbles.

Akane nods. “I believe that what you just did was SHIFT, Carlos.”

“SHIFT?” Carlos asks.

“Spacetime Human Internal Fluctuating Transfer,” Akane says, as if that explains anything at all. “A phenomenon where one’s mind crosses space and time by using the field.”

“You’re saying the me right now came from a different history?” Carlos says.

“Well, your consciousness, at least,” Akane says. “Say you go back in time to when your parents met, using a car as a time machine. Know what movie I’m talking about?”

“Yeah, of course I do,” Carlos says. “The high school protagonist almost gets it on with his own mother, and tries to get his awkward dad to marry her. That’s the basic plot, right?”

“Yes, the story revolves around a boy, we’ll call him M. According to the plot, he’s successful at getting his parents to marry, but history ends up changing slightly. Upon returning to his own time, his father’s a famous science fiction writer, and he’s rich,” Akane says. “But did you notice something odd about the movie? Just what happened to the M who lived in that fancy house?”

Junpei thinks he knows where this is going. “Clover made me watch the whole damn series multiple times. That M never shows up.”

“There are two overarching types of stories about time travel.” Akane stands up and walks over to the control panel to grab a wrench. She draws a line with two branches at the top. “The first type states that there is always only one history. Meaning if someone changes the past, that previous past is subsequently erased.” Akane scribbles out one of the branches.

Junpei frowns. That doesn’t make sense, not with the morphogenetic field passing information between timelines.

“The other type is where multiple histories exist. This is the many worlds interpretation, one of the more widely believed hypotheses on multiverse theory. The world and universe split into branches as a result of one’s decisions. It’s a setup where each branch exists in some form.” Akane draws another line with two branches.

“So there’s one history where I choose to ally and Carlos betrays, and another where I betray and Carlos allies,” Junpei says, just to make sure he’s understanding correctly.

Akane nods. “Yes. Potentially, there could be a timeline where you both ally, or you both betray, but because you’re both receiving information from the morphogenetic field, you’re making your choices based on what you anticipate the other person will do.”

“Damn. Would be nice if we could both live through the damn game,” Junpei laments.

“Okay, so back to the movie. First, let’s consider what happens with a single path history. In this case, do you know what M is doing back in his own time?” Akane says, looking up at Carlos.

“What’s he doing?” Carlos says.

“Committing a form of murder,” Akane says, her eyes suddenly intense.

“That makes sense. If there’s only one path, then when M goes back into the past, he replaces the version of him that was living there before,” Junpei says. He’s not sure why this makes so much sense to him, but it seems natural.  _ Too _ natural.

“Wait, that doesn’t make sense. It’s M’s history that was erased, right?” Carlos points out.

“Let’s call the other M, the one who lived in the history where his dad was rich, M2. When M jumps back to the past, he effectively overwrites M2’s memories, erasing him from existence,” Akane explains. “That’s a form of murder, don’t you think?”

“But that’s not how it works, right? I mean…” Junpei pauses for a moment to think. “The history that Carlos came from didn’t just disappear.”

Akane hesitates. “Yes. I have reason to believe that when someone SHIFTs to another history, they switch places with their consciousness that was initially in that history. This is… difficult to say, but Carlos, when you SHIFTed here, the Carlos that was originally here went to the history that you came from.”

Carlos’ eyes widen in horror. “No…”

“Uh, isn’t that  _ also _ murder, then? I’m guessing Carlos came from the history where you kill him with a fire extinguisher,” Junpei says, scratching the back of his head.

“Where I… what?” Akane gives him a confused look.

Junpei sighs. “Akane, I think I’ve seen you kill Carlos at least three different ways in my nightmares.”

Akane falls silent, unsure of how to respond to that.

“For what it’s worth, Akane, I’m pretty sure I kill you, too,” Carlos supplies.

“Yeah, you guys go batshit insane because you find my decapitated head in the freezer,” Junpei says far too casually.

Akane and Carlos stare at him.

“What?”

“Junpei, does that not disturb you even a little bit?” Carlos says.

Junpei shrugs. “It’s one of the few things I get to see without experiencing extreme pain or death.”

“ _ Junpei _ .”

“Uh, I guess it’s a little weird to see? I don’t think I’ve fully processed it. I don’t usually remember my hallucinations super well after a day or two, but something about being here has made them all a lot clearer,” Junpei says, hoping that this will satisfy the two of them.

“Maybe because of esper resonance?” Akane suggests.

Junpei winces as his headache spikes and the world starts to blur. “Shit.” He hugs his knees and rests his head between his legs in anticipation of the wave of nausea that comes next. He can hear the energy building in the reactor again, and his vision goes white. He distantly hears Akane saying something, but the words are out of focus. There’s too much noise, static is in his ears, his skin is beginning to blister and burn—

There’s a hand on his shoulder, reminding him that what he’s feeling isn’t happening. Not yet, at least.

“Need… a moment…” Junpei manages. Now that he’s forced to focus on himself, he becomes painfully aware of the pangs of hunger in his stomach and the heaviness of his limbs. He’s so tired. He’s  _ so tired _ . “What’d I miss?”

“I was just telling Carlos that his sister, Maria, is either receiving large amounts of information from the morphogenetic field, or her consciousness cannot stop its jumping between multiple histories. Her ability is running rampant within her,” Akane says. “It’s likely that the same thing is happening to you. If a way can be found for you both to control your SHIFTing, you could recover from your Reverie Syndrome.”

Junpei groans. “What happened to epiphany and danger? I keep getting these fucking hallucinations no matter where I am.”

“It’s possible that the epiphany and danger are being experienced in the history that you SHIFT to,” Akane says. “Furthermore, since you’re aware of the morphogenetic field, you’re able to SHIFT back to the history you’re coming from.”

“I don’t really think I have that much control over it,” Junpei mutters.

“Well, shall we SHIFT? There’s no point in playing the AB game,” Akane says.

“You just finished telling me that my SHIFTing ability is running rampant within me, and now you want me to control it somehow?” Junpei says, raising his head to give Akane a look of disbelief.

“It’ll work, I’m sure of it. But only if we find our lives in danger…”

Junpei scrubs his hands with his face. He has a very, very good feeling that he knows what’s going to happen next. “Akane, I might be losing my mind, but I’m pretty sure you’re insane.” He slowly gets back to his feet, using the wall to steady himself. By the time his vision stabilizes, Akane has already restarted the reactor. The lights begin to flash red, and Junpei has to close his eyes again to avoid getting even dizzier.

“Sorry, me from another history. Looks like you’ll be dying today,” Junpei thinks aloud, giving Akane a withering look. “How can you do this without feeling even a little guilty?”

“Do you want to die here, then?” Akane asks, not even flinching.

Junpei sighs heavily. “I know exactly what the other version of me is about to experience, so that doesn’t make this any easier.”

“So, where do we need to jump to?” Carlos asks.

Akane doesn’t answer.

“You didn’t consider that part?” Junpei yells in frustration. Akane was literally going to kill them. What the  _ hell _ .

“Well, if we knew in advance, the effect of the threat would be lessened,” Akane points out.

“You’re not affected by any of this, are you,” Junpei says bitterly. Immediately, Light’s death in the incinerator and Akane’s death by the submarine come to mind.

“That’s not true! Here, look, my heart’s pounding so fast… do you want to check it?” Akane says, and Junpei turns away. They don’t have time for this, and he knows it. He needs to think. What has he seen before? Where are they supposed to go?

“The history where we didn’t roll ones. In the rec room,” Junpei says slowly. 

“We’re just going to get ourselves killed!” Carlos cries.

“I have a plan. It’s a bad plan, but it’s better than  _ no _ plan, which is what we’ve got right now,” Junpei says wearily. This plan, he knows, is destined to fail, but it has to happen. He can’t quite see what lies at the end of it, and the sleep deprivation sure isn’t helping. “Please. Trust me.”

“I trust you, Junpei,” Akane says, putting her hand out in the space between the three of them. Junpei nods grimly and puts his hand on top.

Carlos groans. “Junpei, if we die, I’m going to kill you.”

“By all means, please do,” Junpei responds instinctively. Akane’s probably going to scold him for that later.

“Okay, let’s go!” Akane says.

Junpei focuses on the rec room, the gatling guns, the dice, the moment of panic when they stop rolling. And then—

He’s in the rec room. His skin is burning, his vision is filled with white light, there’s the overwhelming noise of an explosion in his ears. There’s red carpet underneath his feet. The suits of armor are preparing to shoot, based on the mechanized noises coming from around the room.

Junpei’s body is burning.

“Hurry, Junpei! What was your idea?” Carlos says urgently.

Junpei squints through the white light. He can see Akane and Carlos, but only barely. It’ll be enough for now. He punches Akane in the stomach and she falls to the ground, winded.

Carlos gasps. “What the hell—”

“Put Akane in the fireplace. We’re going to protect her and she’ll get our X-passes,” Junpei says quickly. Already his vision is beginning to fade to black as pain explodes through his muscles and bones. He’s burning alive, he’s dying, he’s dying. Fireplace. Fireplace. He needs to get to the fireplace. He follows the sound of Carlos’ footsteps and hopes he’s positioned well enough for this to work.

“Junpei, what are you…” Akane’s weak voice cuts through the pain.

“Akane, we’re going to shield you from the bullets. Before we die, we’ll SHIFT to—” Pain shoots through his lungs and for a moment, he can’t breathe. “—we’ll shift to the history where we— where we— won the dice roll.” The guns are starting to turn towards them. They don’t have a lot of time.

“Dammit, Junpei, what the hell is this plan?” Carlos yells, but Junpei thinks he can hear Carlos crouching over Akane.

“It’ll… be fine,” Junpei says in the most unconvincing way possible, and he crouches over Akane, too. “Once you have the X-passes, SHIFT to the same history.”

“Please… don’t do this,” Akane says desperately.

Junpei does his best to smile. “I’ve seen this one happen, already,” he says softly. “I’m sorry.”

~*~

Akane SHIFTs from the bloody rec room to the lounge. The first thing she hears is Junpei screaming, and as Akane looks around, she spots him on the floor writhing in pain. Carlos is kneeling down next to him looking slightly panicked.

Akane rushes over and kneels down next to him. “Junpei, whatever you’re seeing, it’s not real. We’re in the lounge. We’re okay.”

Junpei doesn’t react at all. He continues to scream in pain, his eyes wide open, tears running down his cheeks. “I’ve been trying to get through to him, but it’s like he can’t hear us at all.”

“Maybe…” Akane gently picks up Junpei’s hand and squeezes it. “Junpei, you’re safe. You’re okay.”

Junpei’s whole body slackens, and he closes his eyes. He’s gasping for air with each breath, but the tears have stopped, at least.

“Junpei, are you—” 

“Give me, like, thirty seconds,” Junpei says weakly.

Akane and Carlos wait in silence as Junpei steadies his breathing. Akane doesn’t let go of Junpei’s hand.

“Akane, Carlos. What is SHIFTing supposed to feel like?” Junpei asks, voice still shaky and weak.

“One moment you’re in the reality you started in, and the next, you’re in the one you jumped to,” Carlos says.

“That is… not what happened to me,” Junpei says slowly, his voice still strained. “I think I finally understand what’s been going on with me.”

“What do you mean?” Akane asks.

“We SHIFTed from the reactor room to the rec room, first. I was  _ mostly  _ in the rec room, but I could still see, hear, and feel the explosion in the reactor room.” Junpei pauses for a moment as he struggles to breathe. “Then, we SHIFTed to this timeline. But I was still in the reactor  _ and _ the rec room. And I think a fourth reality, in my bed at home.”

Akane’s eyes widen. “You’ve been stuck between realities this whole time,” she whispers.

Junpei nods, then winces in pain from the motion. “Yeah. Like I’m SHIFTing halfway. That’s why the hallucinations always feel so real. And probably why my memory is shit, too.”

“Reverie Syndrome can be caused by that, right? By SHIFTing repeatedly between realities?” Carlos asks.

Akane shakes her head. “Most people with Reverie Syndrome SHIFT  _ completely _ from one reality to the next very quickly. They’re only experiencing one reality at a time. But Junpei…”

“Junpei’s experiencing multiple histories at the same time,” Carlos says.

“Not just that. Every history that Junpei is seeing has a different version of his consciousness that is  _ also _ being split between realities. So the version of you at home in bed is experiencing all of these histories in the same way that you just did,” Akane says.

Junpei opens his eyes. “No wonder I keep seeing my own death over and over again. Those are the points when it’s easiest to SHIFT.”

“And it’s not unusual to want to SHIFT back to your home when you’re about to die,” Akane says softly. “Oh, Junpei, I’m so sorry. Maybe we can help you control it somehow.”

“Well, future me seemed to know how to SHIFT back to Dcom to talk to you, so I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually,” Junpei says indifferently.

“But even then… weren’t you just passing his messages along? He didn’t SHIFT fully into your body,” Akane points out.

“Maybe it was out of courtesy. From what I remember, it felt like his condition was just as shitty as mine, just years apart.” Junpei starts trying to sit up, but his arms are trembling too much for him to support himself.

“Let me help,” Carlos says, putting a hand on Junpei’s back to support him.

Junpei gasps in pain as he finally sits up fully. “Fuck. I don’t think I’ll be able to move on my own. My brain’s convinced that I just died twice.”

“Pain  _ is  _ psychological,” Carlos acknowledges. “Don’t worry. We’ve got you.”

“...Thanks.” Junpei closes his eyes again. “I don’t think this ends well for us.”

“What do you mean?” Carlos says urgently.

Junpei shakes his head. “Just a feeling. I have no proof.”

They have six X-passes. Of course they aren’t in the best timeline, since Phi is the only other one alive, but still… Akane can feel it, too. That things are about to take a turn for the worse.

Is this the timeline where Radical-6 gets released?

Junpei coughs weakly and Akane snaps back to the present. “Junpei, maybe you should lie down for a bit longer.”

“Maybe…” Junpei coughs again and closes his eyes. “Ugh, I feel like there are holes in my lungs.”

“Here, let’s get you over to the couch,” Carlos says and Junpei shakes his head.

“Don’t… move me, please,” he says, voice shaking with effort. “It’s going to hurt too much.”

“All right.” Carlos gently lowers Junpei back to the ground, then stands up. “I’m going to go take a quick look around. I’ll be right back.”

“Be careful,” Akane says, and Carlos nods as he walks back towards the bar.

“Akane…I’m sorry.”

“Huh? For what?” Akane says, taken aback by the sudden apology.

“I made you see it, too. Us dying.”

Akane averts her gaze. “I was really angry until I saw how much pain you were in,” she admits quietly. “I don’t like you sacrificing yourself for me, Junpei. There’s no point in living once you lose the people you care about the most...”

“I just can’t…” Junpei’s voice cracks, and he opens his eyes halfway before closing them again. “I can’t let you die. It hurts too much. More than anything.”

“More than the pain you’re in right now?” Akane cries, raising her voice, and Junpei winces at her sudden change in tone.

“I’d do this a million times if it meant you were safe,” Junpei says without hesitation. Akane feels tears building in her throat.

“What about how  _ I _ feel?”

“You were selfish all year. Let me be selfish for  _ one day _ .”

Tears begin to roll down Akane’s cheeks. She doesn’t know if she’s crying because of her frustration with him or her guilt for not being there when he needed her.

“I’m sorry. I should have been there to help you. I’m sorry,” Akane says, voice trembling. It’s not like he’s dying in her arms, but… it kind of feels like he is with how weak and frail he is right now.

Junpei laughs weakly. “I had three other espers there to help me, and all I did was push them away and drink myself almost to death. I don’t know if you being there would have changed that.”

“Maybe I could have done something,” Akane insists.

“Well, I guess… maybe I wouldn’t have spent the year looking for you. But you were doing important things… right? Things I couldn’t be a part of.” Junpei opens his eyes, and they’re full of longing and regret and forgiveness. Junpei was always too kind, always first to blame himself. Akane’s chest tightens.

“I didn’t want you to be involved. I wanted you to be safe and… happy.” Akane gently lifts Junpei’s head into her lap, and Junpei winces slightly in pain but doesn’t resist. “Junpei, you know that you’re the most important person in the world to me, right?”

Junpei frowns. “Aoi should probably be first on that list.”

“I love him, too, but that’s a… different kind of love,” Akane says.

“So you love me… romantically?” he asks, his voice so innocent and hopeful and reminiscent of the Junpei she’d been best friends with ten years ago.

“Is that so surprising?” she asks quietly.

“I guess I just assumed my feelings were unrequited,” Junpei says sheepishly. “You left without a word, and I… what was I supposed to think?”

Akane moves the hair out of his face with one hand. His forehead is so warm, he might be running a fever. “I thought you knew,” she says softly.

Junpei sighs and closes his eyes. “I… do love you, Akane. But I can’t find it in me to  _ trust _ you. It feels like if I look away, you’ll disappear.”

“I… might have to,” she says, her mind wandering to Radical-6.

“I know.” Junpei’s voice is completely free of bitterness and resentment. “I know, and that’s why I can’t be with you. Not until I know that you’re not going to leave me behind.”

“I’m sorry.”

“As long as you’re actually sorry, then it’s okay. I can forgive you, eventually.” Junpei opens his eyes and smiles at her. “Aoi might not be so nice, though. He said we’re not allowed to get married until he’s sure that you’ll actually be good for me.”

Akane tries her best to smile. “That sounds like him. He’s always so worried about the people he cares about.”

“Yeah, he is…” Junpei trails off, his eyelids drooping shut again. “I hope… he’ll be okay. Without us.”

“Junpei, what do you mean?” Akane asks, voice shaking with fear. She doesn’t want to know what he’s going to say next.

“The anthropic principle,” Junpei whispers.

“The one who lives on does so due to circumstance… Do you mean to say that our circumstances aren’t going to let us live?” How much does Junpei know? How is it that he’s able to see the future so much better than she is right now?

How long has this decision game been haunting him?

“We’ll live… but not here,” Junpei says, a mournful smile on his face.

Carlos walks back over to the pair of them with a glass of water and an open can of… something. “Hey. Junpei. I found some food behind the bar, if you think you can eat right now. You look really, really bad.”

Junpei pushes himself up into a sitting position with a quiet groan. He takes one look at the food and shakes his head. “Nauseous. Not going to work.”

“Drink the water, at least,” Carlos says.

Junpei takes the glass in his hand, but his hand is shaking so badly that some of it spills as he brings it to his lips. Akane takes the glass from him as soon as it’s empty so that he doesn’t drop it.

She realizes belatedly that not once, in any of the rooms they’d escaped from (that she could remember), had Junpei picked anything up. He’d offered suggestions and helped look for things, but he must have known that his hands couldn’t hold anything stably right now.

“Do you remember the X-passes, Akane? The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can get help for Junpei,” Carlos says.

Akane nods. “Normally, when someone SHIFTs, they forget their memories from the last timeline. But I’m used to it. It’s all there.”

“Fun fact, if you SHIFT between timelines, you just forget everything,” Junpei mutters wryly.

“But wait. I remember what happened before, and it seems like you do, too, Junpei,” Carlos says.

“I think the memories were strengthened due to the resonance effect,” Akane says. “Maybe that’s why you’re starting to remember so much, Junpei. Your memories might be coming back to you because there’s three of us who can SHIFT.”

“But I wonder why? Why have three SHIFTers gathered in a place like this?” Carlos muses.

“Even if we are seeing more SHIFTers in the world—”

“The numbers are increasing?”

“Mankind is about to face an unprecedented crisis. As it stands now, we’ll lose six billion lives… I assume mankind has sensed that and is adapting.” Akane doesn’t miss the way Junpei flinches at the mention of six billion lives being lost. Does he know? Has he seen it? “Even though it’s, in reality, only a small portion. There’s no way there’s tens of thousands of SHIFTers.”

“It’s on purpose,” Junpei says dully. “And before you ask, no, I don’t remember any more than that, because my brain hates me.”

“Why would he need SHIFTers…?” Carlos trails off, deep in thought.

Akane glances down at Junpei. His whole body is shaking slightly, and he’s clutching his head. He looks so tortured. It’s a lot like… a lot like she was for the last nine years.

“Well, it doesn’t matter. Once we enter the X-passes, we’ll be out of here,” Carlos says, and he kneels down to help Junpei up. Junpei grits his teeth as he stands up unsteadily, his legs still wobbling beneath him. He’s leaning heavily on Carlos for support.

Akane walks over to the panel next to the X-door and starts entering the X-passes one by one. She tries Carlos’ X-pass first, but the control panel beeps and an error message pops up. “What…?”

“Try the other one,” Carlos suggests, so Akane does. The error message pops up again.

“It’s not going to work,” Junpei mumbles.

Above them, the PA dings and the announcer says, “X-passes are set to their respective histories. X-passes from alternate histories are not applicable.”

Carlos gives Junpei a bewildered look. “Did you  _ know _ ?”

“Not until we were… already here,” Junpei says with a grimace. “But… we have to... do this. Or you won’t learn...” Junpei’s voice trails off, and Akane, wide-eyed, realizes that he’s finally fallen unconscious.

Behind them, the door slides open and a robot with red eyes and a child’s body walks through. “You are charged with a rule violation. That means you must be punished.”

“Shit. Akane, can you take him?” Carlos asks.

“I-I’ll try,” Akane stutters. Junpei is about her height, but he’s practically malnourished, so he’s relatively light.

Carlos rushes towards the robot, trying to distract it, and Akane starts making her way towards the door at the back of the room. If they can just get out of this room, maybe…

The robot punches Carlos, and he flies across the room, hitting the brick wall behind him. The robot goes in for the final blow, and Carlos ducks just in time. The robot’s head gets stuck in the wall, and the color starts to disappear from the walls, revealing a completely white landscape. Was this what Junpei had meant? Was this what Carlos needed to learn?

“We need to get going before he starts moving again,” Carlos says, running back towards Akane and scooping Junpei up into his arms. “Through that door. There’s a device on the other side that can get us out of this mess.”

Akane follows Carlos, knowing that any questions she has aren’t as important as getting away from the ridiculously strong robot that could wake up at any moment. As they’re running, Carlos explains that the wards actually overlapped, and that he’d quickly SHIFTed to another history where he’d learned about a device that can send people through spacetime.

As soon as they reach the transporter room, a projection of Zero pops up on a counter near the back of the room. “Zero,” Akane says angrily.

“Let me make one thing clear for you. I no longer exist in this world. In this current history, I was executed by one among you, your fellow teammate, Carlos,” Zero says, and Carlos reels back in surprise.

“Wh-what?”

“As such, I will be unable to answer any questions.” Frustrating, but typical. “If you are desperate, I suggest finding me where I am alive. Unfortunately, in that history, our positions are reversed, and the three of you are dead. But if you do come, I will share vital information. I’ll be waiting to meet with you.”

It’s a trap. Akane can sense it. But she has to go, because she needs that information. At the very least, she can feed it to herself in another history. “The timeline where we died…?”

“It’s… the one where we were executed,” Carlos says slowly. 

“We can’t SHIFT to that history because we don’t have bodies,” Akane says worriedly.

“We’ll use the transporter.” Carlos walks over to the machine and puts Junpei in one of the pods. “Quickly. Akane, get in the other pod.”

“B-but…”

The robot breaks through the door, newly revitalized. It runs at Carlos, and Carlos manages to pin it to the ground.

“Go! It can only hold two people at once. I’ll catch up with you!” Carlos yells as he struggles to keep the robot pinned down.

“We’ll hold you to it,” Akane says, and she gets into the other pod. Carlos bolts to his feet and pulls the lever. The last thing Akane sees as the pod lid lowers is the robot punching Carlos over, and over, and over again.


	8. Apocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the timeline God abandoned. Yes, THAT timeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already posted this piece as the epilogue to my VLR fic, so if it seems familiar, that's why.

“I wonder what happened to Carlos…” Akane says worriedly, glancing back at the hallway they’d come from. 

Zero had just dumped all sorts of disturbing information on them. Radical-6, Free the Soul, Brother… it would have been a lot to take in if Junpei hadn’t already collected bits and pieces from unwanted nightmares and visions.

“I don’t… know…” Junpei trails off as a sharp pain shoots through his head. He cries out in pain and falls to the floor.

“Junpei! Are you—”

“I’m… fine…” For a moment, Junpei feels like his head is going to explode, and suddenly, he can see two worlds overlaid on top of each other. He’s still in the lounge with Akane, but he’s also in a beat-up cabin looking at a corkboard covered in sticky notes. “What…?”

“Listen to me very carefully, Junpei.” The voice that Junpei hears in his head is  _ his own _ , but he sounds older. This has happened before, he remembers vaguely. While he was at Dcom. But he doesn’t remember that conversation very well. “When you get out of here, Akane is going to try to erase your memory. You  _ have _ to stop her. If she succeeds, you will have a much harder time trying to save Clover. I need you to trust me.”

And then the pain is gone, and he’s left on his hands and knees, trying to make sense of what he just heard.

When he closes his eyes, he can see himself handcuffed to a sink. Clover is right next to him, and they’re struggling to free themselves. There is a bracelet on both of their wrists.

Junpei opens his eyes, and he understands.

“Junpei, are you all right?” Akane asks. She reaches out a hand to help him up. Junpei takes it, but no sooner has he stood up than his legs collapse from out underneath him again.

“Shit. I.. I need a minute. Sorry.” Junpei winces as his headache starts anew. God damn, he hates the aftereffects of these hallucinations. He feels like someone just sucked all the energy out of him.

Akane sits down next to him. “Did you just… SHIFT again?” she asks.

“Not… not quite. It was more like… a version of me in the future tried to SHIFT back here. Urgh…” Junpei resists the urge to fall asleep. His vision is starting to blur. He lays himself down completely and closes his eyes.

“Do you think Carlos is coming?” Akane says quietly. She sounds… afraid. Junpei hasn’t heard this kind of fear from her before.

It makes sense. Their lives are about to become very, very difficult.

“He’s coming,” Junpei assures her. “He has to. We have jobs to do.”

“Jobs…?”

“Come on, Akane, don’t give me that. You kidnapped Clover, didn’t you? You knew that this might happen. That Radical-6 might escape,” Junpei says wearily.

“...Yes. I did,” Akane admits.

“So you have a plan. A crazy, stupid, ridiculous plan. I’m not going to stop you. But… I have my own job. If you need Clover for this plan, then I have to make sure I survive long enough to see her again,” Junpei says softly. He’s resigned to his fate. Almost like… well, almost like Akane.

“So you’re not… going to try to stop me?” Akane says, and there’s a little bit of hope in her voice.

“No. I don’t agree with what you’re going to do, but...” Junpei sighs and opens his eyes slowly. A lot of hard choices lay ahead for both of them. “We’re both going to become terrible people, Akane.”

“I don’t think you could become a terrible person,” Akane says with a small smile.

“I definitely  _ feel _ like one already,” Junpei says drily. He counts to three and then sits up slowly. His head is pounding. “So I’m guessing… this is probably the last time I’ll see you?”

Akane gives Junpei a sad smile. “I don’t know how much of the future you’ve seen, but… yes, Junpei. I don’t think we’ll see each other again for a long time. For forty five years.”

“Okay.” Junpei has a lot of things he wants to say, but no words to say them with. It’s not like it matters. They’ve lost the timeline lottery. All he can do is try to make this the best possible ending for the people he cares about, and Akane… can’t be one of them.

Gab runs up just then, and Akane welcomes the distraction. Junpei spends the next few minutes fighting off his drowsiness. A plan is beginning to form in his mind, inspired by the small peek he had at the future, but he needs his memories intact to make it work.

The sounds of an explosion fill Junpei’s ears, and he’s just barely awake enough to shield Akane from the resulting debris and smoke. He relaxes as soon as he sees a figure in a yellow firefighter’s suit walk through the smoke. “Carlos,” he whispers. Akane stands up and dusts herself off, but Junpei isn’t sure if he trusts himself to make it to his feet yet, so he stays on the ground.

“Sorry for the wait,” the firefighter says. The voice is too muffled to tell, but Junpei just  _ knows _ . “Well, I guess I was the one that waited… I promised, didn’t I? That I’d come back for you.”

Akane squints at the figure. “Wait, are you…?”

Huh, imagine figuring something out before Akane. This has to be a first for Junpei.

Carlos removes his helmet to show his face. “Hey Junpei, Akane! I’m here to save you.”

Carlos has to practically carry Junpei out of the bomb shelter. Junpei’s whole body is shaking from hunger and exhaustion, and it’s getting harder and harder to keep his eyes open. He hasn’t slept well in at least two weeks, and it’s finally catching up to him. And of course the transporter had to perfectly clone the numbing pain that he’d been in before they transported. Damn it. He needs to stay awake a little longer. 

Carlos explains to him and Akane how he’d come back to save them. If Junpei hadn’t already realized how fucked they all were, he might’ve been frustrated by Carlos’ choices, but he’s just too tired. Akane starts chewing Carlos out for just sitting idly while Zero put his plan in motion, but Junpei holds out a hand to stop her.

“It had to happen, or Sigma and Phi wouldn’t have had a reason to come back to the past,” Junpei says, his voice thin and worn.

Akane falls silent. Carlos gives both of them concerned looks.

“You’re right. I… have to start over from the beginning. I’ll start now, and spend the next forty five years preparing for my plan,” Akane says, her voice a mix of determination and fear. 

“You have a plan?” Carlos asks because, well, he doesn’t know how Akane works. Akane’s spent longer living in timelines than she has living a normal life. She always has a plan.

“In forty five years, I’m going to call Sigma’s and Phi’s consciousnesses to the future,” Akane says. Junpei sees her reach for something in her pocket. He knows what’s coming.

“Don’t,” he says firmly.

Akane almost drops her bracelet in surprise.

“I’ll play dumb. I’ll pretend I don’t know anything. Just… let me keep these memories. Please. They’re… all I’ll have left of you,” Junpei says softly. “I’ll tell Aoi and Light to stop looking for Clover. I won’t intervene in your plan at all. I promise.”

“Junpei…” Akane gives him a pained look.

“I know you think it will be easier for me if I don’t remember you, but it won’t. I’ll spend the next forty five years of my life thinking that I never found you. I don’t… I don’t want that…” Junpei groans a little as his headache spikes for a moment. He’s barely holding on. “My memory’s already shit. I’ll forget enough of what happened here just from sheer lack of sleep.”

“...Okay. I trust you,” Akane says, and she drops the bracelet behind her. “I’m sorry, Junpei. I… I didn’t want this for us.”

“You said that you trust me. Can you… do me one more favor?” Junpei asks.

“What kind of favor?” Akane asks suspiciously.

“A failsafe. For the timelines where things go to shit, or where the plan just isn’t going to work. I won’t use it unless I have to,” Junpei says, hoping he sounds as desperate as he feels. He doesn’t care if he dies, but Clover… he can’t do that to her. He can’t do that to Light. He  _ has _ to have a way to get her out of there. “Hide it. I’ll find it somehow.”

“...All right.” Akane says those two words, and Junpei finally lets his eyes close. He feels Carlos pick him up and sling him over one shoulder. “Carlos, take him to a hospital, please. Make sure he’s safe,” he hears Akane say.

“I will,” Carlos promises.

“Goodbye… Akane…” Junpei mumbles, and then the last of his strength leaves him, and he drifts off into darkness.


	9. Force Quit: C / Final Decision Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junpei might not be a good actor, but there is no way in hell that he's beating Carlos up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for murder, death, animal death, hallucinations, dying in explosions, and morally gray decisions
> 
> This takes place at 0:10 in the timeline where no team is executed and nobody presses the button in the decontamination room.

“Do you want to know? I was thinking about  _ you _ , Akane,” Carlos says, and Junpei groans internally. He’s not a good actor, but there’s no way he can take this seriously now that he knows what’s going on. Carlos, you  _ ass _ .

Carlos throws him across the room like he’s yesterday’s trash. Junpei is able to brace himself for the fall since he knew it was coming, but god damn, Carlos is strong. Junpei feels a sharp pain in his head. Oh, great. Perfect time for a headache.

Junpei slowly stands back up. His head is spinning. His vision is going in and out of focus. “You bastard!” he yells, and he rushes towards Carlos. Luckily, Carlos seems to be fully aware of the fact that Junpei is far too weak to throw a punch right now, because he creates some momentum of his own just before Junpei pushes him off Akane. Akane runs over to the door that leads to the transporter room (why does Junpei know that? whatever, it’s just one of many things he shouldn’t know), and Carlos leads Junpei into the reactor room.

As soon as they get to the reactor room, Junpei sighs wearily and shakes his head. “I’m not beating you up, Carlos. Zero  _ wants _ us to get the transporter cards. It’s to his benefit that we remember everything that happened here.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Carlos asks, completely taken aback.

“He wants all of us together to play a Decision Game.”  _ One of the many explosions I’ve experienced in my dreams _ , Junpei wants to say, but he holds his tongue.

“All of us? You mean, all the teams?”

“Yeah.” Junpei rubs his eyes. “I can’t remember much more than that, but as you can probably guess, the only reason I know about it is because it’s a life-or-death situation that I’ve halfway SHIFTed to before.”

“Well…” Carlos sighs. “I trust you, I guess. Let’s go back and wait for Akane, then.”

“No argument here,” Junpei mumbles, and the two walk back to the Lounge. Junpei collapses onto the couch and closes his eyes. They’re so close to the end, and then he can finally let the panic break through the mental dam that’s barely holding up in his head. How many times has he died today? How many times has he seen things that he will never, ever forget?

The smell of blood hasn’t gone away since the Decision Game began. Junpei wonders if it will ever go away again.

A few minutes later, Akane returns with the cards hidden in her right hand. “Junpei says that Zero knows what we’re up to, so there’s no need for secrecy,” Carlos says.

“He knows…?” Akane sounds mildly concerned.

“The whole point of this stupid game was to build up our ability to SHIFT while retaining our memories. Now that we’ve done that, he’s going to bring us all back together and give us one last shitty decision,” Junpei says bitterly.

Junpei wishes he could still SHIFT without remembering anything, but his brain is packed full of memories that aren’t strictly his. Shot by gatling guns, burned alive in the reactor room, dismembered by Mira, poisoned, killed by muscle relaxant, forced to kill to stay alive…

Junpei wants to fall asleep and never wake up again.

“Then, what do we do now?” Akane says.

“Prepare to die?” Junpei says sarcastically.

“Junpei!” Akane scolds.

“What? There’s a fifty percent chance we choose to die, and a fifty percent chance that we choose to live. Might as well be prepared for the more immediately painful of the two options,” Junpei says tiredly, leaning his head back against the couch. He’d fall asleep here if he could, but the other teams have to wake up in this room, first. “We can find a place to hide, I guess? Q team and D team still have to wake up. I’m beat.”

Carlos picks Junpei up before he can so much as protest. “Come on. We’ve got plenty of time for you to take a nap.”

For once, Junpei doesn’t resist.

~*~

As with almost every nap Junpei has taken in the past year, Junpei wakes up with his whole body in searing pain and his headache absolutely killing him. He groans and covers his eyes with one hand. “Carlos, can you carry me?” he begs. “I just experienced death again. Why don’t we ever die in quick, easy ways? Why is every single death really fucking painful?”

“We’re almost done,” Carlos says gently, lifting Junpei to his feet. Junpei’s knees immediately collapse underneath him, and Carlos catches him. “Wow, you weren’t kidding. All right, I’ll carry you.”

“Thanks.” Junpei doesn’t even open his eyes. He doesn’t want to feel the burning sensation of bright light quite yet. “You guys remember everything now?”

“Yes, although I don’t think it’s quite the same as it is for you,” Akane says. “I remember dying, but I don’t remember how it… feels.”

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day,” Junpei says earnestly. Carlos lifts Junpei up and over his shoulder, and Junpei lets his head rest against Carlos’ back.

Carlos pats Junpei’s shoulder sympathetically. “That sucks, dude. I’m sorry.”

“Are you all right? Besides, um, the pain?” Akane asks anxiously.

“In the course of that three hour nap, I think I died twelve times, so no, not really,” Junpei mumbles into Carlos’ back.

Akane and Carlos fall silent. Junpei tries to focus on slowing his heart rate down. His body is still panicking from the sensation of burning alive in an explosion. An explosion that will happen very, very soon.

They run back into the lounge with Q team. Junpei doesn’t open his eyes, so he can’t see the surprise on Diana’s face, but he can hear it in her voice. “Carlos?”

“Akane, Junpei…” Sigma trails off, no doubt because Junpei is being carried like a fucking child. He’s not letting Carlos put him down until he absolutely has to. His legs feel like they’ve been cut off which, in retrospect, they technically were in another history.

“And Mira and Eric…” Phi says.

“And you’re… Sean, right?” Diana says, probably to the robot child on Q team.

“Carlos, what happened?” Phi asks.

“Uh…” Carlos hesitates.

“I haven’t slept or eaten in five days and I’m too fucking tired to stand,” Junpei says in a disgruntled voice, deciding it’s not  _ that _ far from the truth.

“What the hell, Junpei?” Phi says.

“It’s not like I  _ knew _ we were going to be in a death game,” Junpei shoots back.

“We already yelled at him for it,” Akane says way too cheerfully.

Junpei tunes out the conversation that follows. He can feel his past self sharing his body with him, listening to it in his sleep. That’s how  _ he _ knows what everyone is saying, after all. He tunes out Delta’s monologue, too. It’s all stuff he remembered while he was taking his hellish, twelve-death nap. Because, well, the twelfth death happens soon enough.

He tunes back in when he hears the force quit program activate. Carlos runs somewhere, still carrying Junpei’s body, and he can smell blood, this time stronger than usual. Ah, right. Gab’s dead. Poor dog. He didn’t deserve that. Junpei opens his eyes weakly just in time to see Gab’s lifeless corpse. Delta tells them about the final decision game. Junpei doesn’t care. He just wants to know which timeline he’s on. No, even then, it doesn’t matter. Either way, he’s going to experience this stupid explosion because he can’t SHIFT to save his life.

“Junpei, why the hell didn’t you warn us?” Carlos yells as soon as Delta’s finally kicked the bucket.

“I  _ told _ you it was a life-or-death situation,” Junpei protests. “I think I can stand now, if you want to have your arms free to make this decision.”

Carlos glares at Junpei but puts him down. Junpei’s legs are still in pain, but he can feel them well enough to keep himself on his feet.

“Wait. Did you  _ know _ this was coming?” Phi says angrily.

Junpei shrugs. “I’m sure Delta would’ve just mind hacked us to make this happen anyway. I don’t  _ like _ what’s about to happen, but I didn’t see any real way to stop it. What are our two options, Akane?”

“If  _ you _ know what’s going to happen, you could say it instead,” Akane says sharply. “All of us have to SHIFT. Together.”

“Hey, hold on! Like jumping to another history?” Eric says, fear dominating his voice.

“But Eric and I…” Mira looks at Akane, then glances over at Eric.

“You’ll be fine. With six SHIFTers here, you’ll resonate enough to make the jump,” Junpei assures them. They don’t look very convinced, which is fair. Junpei probably looks like a madman right now.

“Have you seen it?” Akane asks him.

Junpei nods. “There’s two outcomes here, and I’ve seen both. One of them is a lot more painful than the other one.”

“None of the similar histories will work. We have to pick one where we’re all alive,” Phi says with a frown. “Junpei, where do we jump to?”

Junpei looks over at Carlos. Carlos’ eyes widen as he realizes what has to be done. “The history where we won the coin toss.”

“I’m not sure I get it all, but it’s a good idea?” Mira says.

“What are you saying? There’s no way we could do that,” Sigma protests. 

Mira puts a hand on her hip. “Why not?”

“SHIFTing isn’t simply jumping into bodies in different histories,” Phi says grimly.

“Our consciousnesses swap places. Ours for theirs,” Carlos says, voice laced with guilt.

Junpei sighs wearily. “We have two choices. Stay here and die, or force death upon a version of ourselves that just happened to win a coin toss.”

“Yeah, and what’s wrong with that?” Mira challenges.

“What…” Diana gives Mira a horrified look.

“Well, they’re all living without a care off in another history, yeah? One time. They do the coin toss once and win… Don’t you think that’s unfair?”

“Mira, you’re saying ‘they,’ but we’re talking about ourselves here,” Sigma says.

“Well, we should consider if these people really are us,” Phi points out.

Junpei shrugs indifferently. “I don’t know about you guys, but the version of me in the other history is fully aware that he has a fifty percent chance of dying right now. Every SHIFT I’ve done today, he’s experienced, too.”

Phi gives him a puzzled look.

“I suck at SHIFTing, okay? I’ll explain later,” Junpei says dismissively.

“Well, for the rest of us, the versions of us in the other history are practically strangers,” Mira points out.

“That’s even  _ more _ of a reason not to!” Sigma says.

“If we SHIFT to that history, then we’re tossing the others under the bus to save ourselves,” Carlos says, his voice a mix of guilt and disgust. Junpei has to smile. Carlos is way too good of a person.

“The us in that history have done nothing wrong,” Diana says, shifting uncomfortably. “I mean, the only thing they did was win at a coin toss.”

“The only thing  _ we _ did was lose at a coin toss, and we got put through so much shit for it,” Junpei says tiredly, and he yawns. “It’s pretty simple. Do you want us to lose everything we’ve gained here, or is it important enough that we make a sacrifice?”

Akane nods in agreement. “We have two choices. We can stay here and wait for our deaths, or survive by sacrificing our other selves in another history.”

“So that’s what that bastard meant,” Phi says, distaste written all over her face. “The final Decision Game…”

“Hey, Junpei. Do you know which choice leads to the better path?” Sigma asks.

Junpei makes a face. “I don’t know what you think I’m capable of, but I don’t know shit past the immediate aftermath of the explosion. Especially since two of the four resulting timelines end in  _ our deaths _ .”

“We just have to make a decision based on what we know,” Akane says, and then she turns to Carlos. “What do you think?”

Junpei closes his eyes and braces himself. No matter what they choose, he’s going to feel the explosion, so he might as well get ready.


	10. Payoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akane worries about Junpei. Junpei gets fed up with Zero's bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I think this is the only chapter that doesn't have any trigger warnings. Which makes me think I'm overlooking something.
> 
> This takes place right after the last chapter, except it's noon on December 31st again.

Akane sits up groggily. The hot Nevada sun is beating down on her, and the cracked, dry ground below her is scalding her skin. She sits up slowly and looks over at Junpei. He’s awake, but he’s curled up in a ball, his fists clenched. Oh, no… Akane scoots over next to him and puts a hand on his arm. “Junpei, you can do it,” she whispers.

Slowly, Junpei opens his eyes with a quiet groan. “I can never tell if that explosion is worse than the one in the reactor room,” he says weakly.

“Nice to see you’re feeling well enough to make jokes,” Akane says softly, and he smiles.

“Judging by the sun, it’s probably noonish,” Phi says, looking up at the sky.

“What day is it…?” Sigma wonders out loud.

“I’m pretty sure it’s the thirty-first of December,” Junpei answers, and then winces and squeezes his eyes shut. “Too much sun. Tell me when the asshole shows up.”

“The asshole…?” Phi trails off as her gaze falls on Delta, standing right in front of the Dcom building.

Akane doesn’t listen as closely to Delta as she should. Her worried gaze is trained on Junpei. Even here, in the history where they didn’t play the death game, he looks like a dead man. His face is twisted in pain, his body is tense, his skin is pale, and she can see his bones through his skin. How little has he been eating for the last year? How is he still  _ alive _ ?

Delta has just finished explaining how he’s committed no crime at all here today when Junpei opens his eyes again and sits himself up. “You’re still the leader of Free the Soul, asshole. We’ve been hunting you down for  _ months _ .”

Delta gives Junpei a tight smile. “Ah, yes. You’ve been quite the nuisance in the past couple months, destroying our headquarters buildings one by one. I hear you even arrested the Myrmidons.”

“Glad you’ve heard of me,” Junpei says, rolling his eyes. “Phi, can you drop kick him again? He’s still a wanted criminal by the government.”

“Oh? Don’t you want to hear the rest of what I have to say?” Delta says. “After all, in this history, Radical-6 does not get released, so—”

“Yeah, yeah, we have to track down the religious fanatic who’s trying to cause human extinction. You can give the rest of your speech behind bars,” Junpei says sourly.

“Wait, what do you mean, human extinction?” Mira says urgently, turning to Junpei.

“According to Delta, the reason that Radical-6 was released in the first place was to kill a religious fanatic whose identity is unknown. This religious fanatic will eventually spark a nuclear war through a terrorist attack,” Akane explains.

“Does that make you angry, Phi?” Delta says in a condescending voice. “I had prepared a future in another history where two billion people survive, but yet, you decided to jump to this history. That means—”

Phi shouts in frustration and kicks Delta in the balls, then in the face. He crumples to the floor, unconscious. “Shut  _ up _ ,” she growls.

“Thank you. His voice is so grating,” Junpei says casually.

“Did he have anything else important to say?” Akane asks.

Junpei shakes his head. “Some bullshit about how one of his reasons for this stupid Decision Game was to put us all in the mindset that we’ll have to work hard to earn the future where the religious fanatic gets caught and humanity doesn’t go extinct. Then, he gives Carlos a gun and lets him decide whether to shoot him or not.”

“How do you know all that?” Mira asks.

“I have Reverie Syndrome. I’ve been accidentally SHIFTing to all the histories that we just experienced for the last three months. Except I also suck at SHIFTing, so I keep only SHIFTing halfway. Instead of replacing my consciousness, it’s more like my past and future selves each occupied one half of my past and future bodies.” Junpei slowly stands up, and Akane instinctively puts her hands out to catch him, but he seems to be more well-adjusted than he had been in the force quit history. “Most people lose their memories when they SHIFT, though, so I lost anything I learned until we were put in the bomb shelter, and then things started coming back to me.”

“Uh, hey, not to interrupt, but are those  _ cars _ over there?” Eric says, pointing to a distant point on the horizon.

Just past the fence, there’s two cars parked, and Akane can just barely make out two people standing next to them.

“This is a government facility. Why are there people out here?” Carlos says.

Akane glances over at Junpei. His eyes are wide with recognition. “Junpei—”

“Wait.” Junpei closes his eyes, leaving Akane to wonder what he’s doing. After a moment, Junpei opens his eyes, and Akane’s surprised to see that he’s tearing up. “I don’t… get it. How…?”

“What? What’s going on, Junpei?” Akane asks, but it’s like Junpei can’t hear her anymore, like he’s stuck in another SHIFT. 

“Well, there’s no point in standing around here. We’ve been outside the Dcom building, so the experiment’s compromised,” Phi points out.

“Oh, yeah, I guess you’re right,” Diana says.

“And I don’t think we have any way to get back  _ in _ to the building, either,” Mira says, glancing back at the building behind them.

“So, what, we’re just supposed to go ask two strangers who happen to be parked here to give us a ride?” Eric says, a skeptical expression on his face.

“I think… Junpei might know them,” Akane says. “But, um…” She gestures over to Junpei, who has a completely blank expression on his face. “I think he might have SHIFTed on accident again. He’s not responding to anything.”

“I hope he’s okay,” Carlos says, giving Junpei a worried look. “What do you think, Akane? Should we go see who they are?”

Akane glances back at Junpei, then looks out at the cars again. “Yes. I trust his judgment.”

“Are you sure you should be trusting a guy who’s…?” Eric gestures at Junpei.

“If you want to stay here, you’re more than welcome. But I’m betting those cars have air conditioning, and it’s hot outside,” Mira says, and she starts walking towards the cars without a second thought.

“W-wait for me!” Eric says, running after her.

Akane looks back at Sigma and Phi. “Well, shall we go, then?”

Sigma sighs. “Yeah, I guess so.” He picks Delta’s unconscious body up and slings him carelessly over one shoulder. “If they’re strangers, we can still ask them for a ride.”

“I’m sure they won’t ask any questions about the unconscious old man we’ve got with us,” Phi says drily.

Diana smiles. “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

Akane takes Junpei’s hand gently, and he doesn’t resist. As she walks forward, he follows her, still in a trance-like state. Akane wouldn’t be surprised if he’d shut down due to sheer exhaustion.

She takes one last look at the Dcom building, and then she turns away and walks forward, into the undetermined future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally why the fuck does nobody bring up the fact that Delta can be arrested on charges of terrorism? Anyway, Phi rights.
> 
> If you want to know what happens directly before/after this, you can read the last chapter of the first fic in this series, Second Chances!


End file.
